Five-Year-Well Visit...

Jonathan had his five-year well visit yesterday. He's 41 pounds and 42-3/4 inches... hanging out in the 40-something percentile, right between his two brothers, as always.  (6 pounds more than Ben at the same age, 5 pounds less than Simon....3-1/4 inches taller than Ben(!!!!), 3/4" shorter than Simon)

Sidenote: SHEESH Ben was tiny!!!!!

The doctor said he looks great and is growing perfectly!

He asked if I had any questions or concerns and honesty, I couldn't think of any. He laughed and said, "That's the third one for you! You could probably do my job!" I jokingly said if he ever needed help, I'd be happy to come in. LOL. He said they've actually considered doing that before... having parents come in for other parents to talk to and ask questions of because sometimes it's actually more helpful than talking to a pediatrician. Too funny!

J got his flu shot and freaked out. (the nurse was SO SLOW... Just DO it already!!) He recovered quickly though when I told him we could stop at the deli downstairs and get a ginger ale. ;)

He wasn't pleased about going back to school either, but his class was headed to lunch when we got back and I just added him on to the back of their line and all was well. PHEW!

Doc Appointments...

The two older ones had checkups this morning.

Ben weighs 60 pounds now! He's 51-3/4 inches.  I about fell over when the nurse said his weight… and now I know why….when I came home and looked it up, I discovered he gained 11 pounds in a year!!!  (and almost 3 inches)  I just looked it up and it still only puts in the 3rd percentile all around. LOL.  Someone has to occupy the bottom of the curve, right? ;)

Simon is not far behind at 59 pounds and 50 inches! (up 3-1/2 pounds and 1 inch.) He runs right in the middle of the chart across the board.

So interesting how different all that is with them!  Jonathan also tends toward the middle of the curve.

Anyway all good stuff. Everyone is healthy! He does want me to take Simon back to the allergist at some point to have him do a food challenge for the shellfish… but said it's not urgent. Maybe over the summer.

The doctor also informed Ben he needs a tetanus booster (and hepatitis? I think?)…. but is letting him wait until fall. Ben is already freaking out about that. So thanks, doc! LOL. ;)

Four-Year Well Visit...

Jonathan had his four-year well visit today! I had forgotten it was the awful one where they get a ton of shots. Oy. He got four... hoping he doesn't spike a fever tomorrow. Uuuuugh.

He weighs 37-1/2 pounds and is 40-1/4 inches tall... 63rd and 47th percentiles, so he has held true to being right in between his two older brothers growth-wise.  He grew THREE inches over the last year!!!!

He was super chatty with the doctor and it was adorably cute. :)  No concerns except that the doctor is happy we are still being followed by OT because he noticed some of the motor planning stuff while J was walking around the exam room. Otherwise, he's really healthy and looks good! :)

ETA: I looked up the other boys' 4-year-checkup numbers.... WOW....
Ben was only 32 pounds and 33 inches tall.  What?!?!? I always knew he was tiny... but never realized how small he was compared to other kids back then. Yikes.

Simon was 43 pounds and 42 inches tall. Craziness!!

Update....

In the time since my last post --
In no particular order...

There was an ice storm. We didn't lose power, thankfully. Still, ice is awful.

Simon had a med check at the pediatrician, which is essentially an extra well-visit. So for record-keeping purposes -- he was 54 pounds and 48-1/2 inches. He is starting to grow taller, but not heavier... he looks like he has been stretched out!

Report cards came home.... Ben's was stellar, Simon's was kind of worthless and didn't communicate a whole lot (except for the comments, which were helpful, detailed and very good!), which is why I was glad I had a conference with his teacher, at her request. She reports he is doing SO well these days. She had samples of his work all laid out for me to see and it's really amazing how far he has come. He gets pulled for tests so he can take them with minimal distractions and she says he LOVES this. Two of his good friends go too and apparently they are the envy of their classmates. She says he is a great reader and has very high-level comprehension. (?!) She also said is amazed by the ways in which he goes about solving math problems. Now, if we could only get his desk organized and get him to  stay consistent with getting right to work in class. LOL.  VERY positive conference though! Proud of him!

This is one of his recent papers. The teacher was so excited about it, she brought me a copy after school one day while I was waiting to get the boys. I love that his teacher is as proud of him as I am. :)

I came down with what started out as a chest cold type thing and turned into what I'm fairly sure was the downsized, flu-shot version of the flu. Oddly, no one else got it.  I was okay a couple days later, but am still ultra-tired and this was over a week ago!

Tom left town for a meeting in Florida. No surprise that he got snowed in there... or rather, snowed OUT of here.

It was just the kids and me Wednesday, Thursday and half of Friday. The day he came home, I went to bed at 6p.m.

We have had a lot of fun with this last snow... it was excellent sledding snow and the boys have been in and out. Only positive I have found so far.

I found this one in the side yard saying, "Mommy! The snow won't let me go!!!" It was over a foot and he had a hard time walking. Over the course of a few days, we carved out a path for him to walk to the sledding hill and back.  LOL!

Ben had a meds check/well visit at the pediatrician two days after Simon. He is 49 inches tall and weighs 49-1/2 pounds. Like Simon, he also grew heightwise but not weightwise. Unlike Simon, he did not have pounds to spare, so he got a lecture about how he needs to eat lots of healthy snacks and indulge in some milkshakes here and there. Enviable problem to have....

The boys had a sleepover at Grandmom and Poppy's house last night. Frozen theme. They watched the movie (a screener my dad got from somewhere) and had all kinds of ice-themed treats! Well done, as usual Grandmom and Aunt Deb. The kids get so spoiled over there!!! Tom and I went out for sushi for a belated Valentine's date and then went back and got Jonathan, who is not quite ready to spend the night... or rather... grandmom is not quite ready for Jonathan to spend the night. HA! (and neither is mommy... )

Ben has been keeping busy with basketball. His team hasn't won a single game this year though they play well. There are some major issues with the draft system the rec council uses and the way the teams are formed... it's annoying and kind of a bummer for these kids who play SO hard.  They seem to be having fun anyway but I do wish they could win a game.

Both older boys are still swimming on Saturdays. Simon hasn't made a whole lot of progress with this new teacher, though Ben seems to excel with her. We're going to make a change in March and put Simon with a different teacher and hopefully Jonathan too. He won't even get in the water with the new teacher unless I get in too. I am really looking forward to the end of May when the pool opens and June when swim team starts. It can't come soon enough!!! There's a chance we actually participate in two swim teams this year.... not sure if that will work, but we'll see. Hoping Simon will participate this year!

Jonathan...  that kid is TOUGH lately. Lots of meltdowns and challenging behavior. We've taken a hard line with it and thus, he spends a lot of time in timeouts lately. I think maybe we're getting through to him though... we have won a couple really tough battles in the last two days. One step at a time....

Oh and he also has taken to randomly removing his pants lately... so that's fun. 

He does like his new playgroup "school". Hasn't had much of regular preschool lately thanks to snow and ice. No school tomorrow because of the holiday... maybe Wednesday will be the start of some real routine? Maybe?

OH and the boys finally met their new baby boy cousin this morning.  (He's about two weeks old now) Jonathan didn't care at all, Simon wasn't quite sure how to react, but Ben was ALL over it. He even held Baby W. So sweet....

I think that's all the updates I have for now... I'll add some photos to this post later! :)

First Ever....

Excuse the extended absence. For once, it's not due to laziness! ;)

So Wednesday afternoon, Jonathan had fallen asleep in the car while we were driving around town from our errands and on the way to get Ben and Simon at school. As we pulled into the school I saw him squirm and wince... a second later he started screaming and clutching his tummy.

He had been having tummy issues on and off for nine days and six days into it, seemed to get the stomach virus the other two boys had gotten, then continued with on and off tummy stuff for a couple more days. I didn't think much of any of it because in between, he was completely normal, eating, drinking, no fever, running around like crazy.  He was home from school that day because he had been having another round tummy problems all morning. He had been okay otherwise though and had, in fact, accompanied me to the library while I worked a shift and then to the Bagel shop, where he had a little bit of lunch and played while I met with his Infants and Toddlers teacher. I had no reason to think anything was seriously wrong.

... but something about the way he was crying and couldn't get comfortable at that point was alarming....and also I noticed his belly was HUGE and hard. I got Ben and Simon from school as quickly as I could (thanks to Mrs. Terry for grabbing them a few minute early for me) and ran home, where I thought I'd settle him in on the couch.... thinking *maybe* the Clif Bar he had had in the car before he fell asleep had just set off some gas in his already aggravated tummy and that maybe laying down flat would help.

It didn't take long to see that it wasn't helping.... I don't think I had even gotten his coat and shoes off.  Thankfully, the pediatrician's office has walk-in hours from 4:30-6:30 on weekdays, so I decided to run him over there. I gathered up the older boys (who were amazing troopers and didn't complain once even though they had just gotten home from school) called Tom and asked him to meet me there for two reasons -- 1) Ben had basketball at 7, so I thought he could come get Ben and Simon and take care of dinner and homework so Ben would be ready.... 2) I thought there was a remote chance we would get sent to the ER just to be safe and I knew I'd need backup, at the very least, for the older boys.

I prayed the whole way over that the on-call doc was our pediatrician.... it almost NEVER is after regular hours, it seems. But God was listening and when we checked in and they said Dr. B (our ped) would see us in a minute, I almost cried from relief. The other docs are great, but it's just easier when it's your own doctor who knows your child and their history.  I had also just talked to him that morning about Jonathan's continuing tummy issues, so he was already up to date.

Tom showed up just as the doc came in, and the decision to call him turned out to be the right one, as the doctor looked at J and his rock hard, distended belly for all of two minutes before telling us (to his credit, very calmly) we needed to take him to the ER -- and not just any ER, one that was unfamiliar and much further away than the usual ones we rush to.... I wasn't thrilled about this, but he said when there are questionable abdominal problems going on, he prefers this particular hospital because they have gastro surgeons and pediatricians on site 24/7.

So off we went.... Tom dropped Jonathan and I off and sped home with the big boys so Ben could go to basketball with Pap and Simon could stay at the house with my mom.

In the lobby while we checked in, Jonathan seemed to be feeling better. He was dancing and running around. I started to think we wouldn't be there very long...

Initially, it was actually the most efficient ER experience we've had to date with any of the kids. It was about 5:30 at this point and we were called back to a room within minutes. He was seen by the nurse relatively quickly, then the ER doctor. They pushed on his belly and put in an iv for fluids in case he was dehydrated and also so they could take some blood. He went for an x-ray and they saw a ton of air stuck in his belly. After that, there was lots of sitting around.... they wanted to do a CT scan --  I hadn't yet picked up on what they had zeroed on in at that point, though in hindsight, I'm not sure why. After that, time slowed down because he had to drink some contrast stuff for the scan and we had to wait for it to take effect.  In my head I kept changing the time I thought they'd let us go. At first it was by 8:30.... then they wanted to put a tube down his nose into his belly to relieve some of the pressure... that didn't go wonderfully well. Then there was the contrast dye and waiting for that... and then the scan.... so I thought maybe 10:30....  we entertained him with our phones and computer and a DS. Every so often his belly would hurt again and he'd cry and roll around on the bed and he had a couple of yucky tummy issues in there.  The doctors who came in and out prepared us for the very likely possibility he'd be admitted.

We listened to the families come and go on the other side of the curtain. One kid had a bad case of flu.... another a stomach virus.... another case of flu and finally a little girl with a UTI.  Poor kids. :(

Finally they did the CT scan.... an hour later the surgeons came in and told us they found mild inflammation in his appendix, though his blood counts were all good, which is generally NOT the case with appendicitis. Did NOT see that coming. I don't know why that possibility didn't occur to me, but for whatever reason, it hadn't. They said they'd be admitting us. Tom left around midnight to relieve my mom.  Jonathan finally fell asleep. Another hour and a half passed before they took him up to the children's hospital.

When we got up to the room, J was still asleep and stayed asleep.

I had to answer a bunch of questions for the nurses (one of whom turned out to be an old friend  of  a friend I hadn't seen in YEARS!!!! Small world!) It was 2a.m., and I was exhausted, but they told me to stay up because the pediatric residents would be in to take some history. For what seemed like the 500th time, I told the whole story of J's tummy stuff from January 6th to present.

So the deal was that they found his appendix to be larger than normal. But they weren't sure if it was just the normal size of his appendix or if was the beginning of appendicitis, or possible just the way it looked on the CT scan because his whole belly was full of gas. They had decided to take a conservative watch and wait approach, with the idea that, if it were appendicitis, it would make itself known within 48 hours. If he improved, then it most likely wasn't... if he started getting worse, they would operate to remove it.

Talk about nerve-wracking.

The poor kid was asked about four million times over the next day and half if his belly hurt and where. There was a revolving door of doctors and nurses and medical students who would come in and push on it. Bless his heart, he was amazingly tolerant of all this. The only thing he really wasn't so cooperative for through the whole entire ordeal was the tube in his nose in the ER. (he yelled "Take it out! Take it out! I can't sniff!!!" the entire time and as soon as his hand wriggled free from the nurse, he yanked it out)

Anyway, so we hung out the next day.... watched a lot of tv, played alot of iPhone apps and Minecraft.

Aunt Sarah dropped by with cousin A very briefly (which terrified me because the floor was PACKED with kids who had the flu and Aunt Sarah is about to pop out a new baby like literally any minute now)  and dropped off a cute little gift of a stuffed doggie and a book. (which J appreciated later when he wasn't feeling so yucky) and a bag arrived from the gift shop from his friend Brady. The balloons attached offered LOTS of good entertainment the next day.  We couldn't really leave the room  -- because he had diarrhea, they considered him a potentially infectious risk. Eventually, they did let us wander up and down the hall, but he wasn't allowed to touch anything.

They didn't let him have anything to eat or drink for what seemed like forever, both to let his belly rest and in case they needed to operate.  He was okay with this until late afternoon of the first day (he had iv fluids that helped with that, I think) , then he started saying he was thirsty and hungry and started begging for pancakes. They started him with clear fluids and eventually let him have pancakes that night, which he WOLFED down in minutes.

Unfortunately, he landed himself back on a liquid diet shortly thereafter, because his belly pain came back. (probably because he ate three pancakes in the span of ten minutes) At one point, he really freaked everyone out because he said it only hurt on the right side. I thought for sure at that point we were headed to surgery. BUT, when the docs pushed on it, he didn't wince, so they decided it was probably still just localized gas pain and continued to watch and wait.... it wasn't long after that that he finally said it didn't hurt anywhere anymore... first time in days and days.

Things continued to improve and they unhooked the iv, so he could at least get out of bed.

The next day, keeping him there became much more difficult. He just wanted to get the heck OUT of that place.

He boxed some balloons...

We took a lot of walks down the hall to see the elevator and the "fishtank" (which was a live feed from the Baltimore aquarium on a giant tv) 

Finally, around 2p.m. on Friday, they discharged him. The only catch was we had to visit our pediatrician first thing Saturday morning to have his belly checked one more time. (and maybe again Monday depending on how he looked.... gah. But better safe than sorry, i guess!)

I am happy to report that all is well today. The general consensus is that he had a really bad gastrointestinal bug that just had so much of his insides inflamed and puffed up, that the appendix looked inflamed too. Truthfully, I think it was a totally separate bug from the one that made him throw up Saturday and that hit the other two boys... it was just WAY too different. In fact, I am leaning toward thinking he picked it up at swimming lessons the Saturday before the 6th. I remember he ingested a TON of pool water that day and who knows what was in that... and also, the changing room we were in that day had smelled  a little "off", like someone had gotten sick in there. I remember cringing and actually wondering if J or Simon would come down with anything in the days following. Forgot about it until all this hospital craziness.   

We are supposed to take him back right away if he spikes a fever or gets sick again or anything weird changes. But all seems well, thank goodness. He is totally back to normal in all respects.

WHEW. 

So that was our first kid out of three to ever have a hospital stay. Can't say it was fun, but it was a GOOD experience. The children's hospital was amazing and I've said it would absolutely be my hospital of choice if we ever have to rush one of them to the ER again for anything other than stitches.  (Let's face it, with three kids, boys especially, the likelihood of more ER visits is high... LOL) Everyone we met was just so kind. Glad it worked out as well as it did, all things considered. 

Not anxious to repeat the experience though! 

Three-Year Well Visit...

Jonathan had his three-year well visit today.

33 pounds, 8 ounces and 37-1/2 inches tall.  Still tracking dead middle of the brothers as far as height and weight. Four pounds heavier than Ben at the same age and four pounds lighter than Simon. Tall like Simon though! Simon was 38 inches... Ben was 35 3/4 inches... weird. He's a better eater than Ben, so I think that may be part of the weight difference. Can't explain the height though. That's just weird... he's built like Ben... not that super-sturdy build like Simon. Guess he's just his own person! LOL!  ;)  Imagine that!

He was such a good boy at his checkup. Did the vision and hearing screening no problem. (all is well!) and even got a flu shot and didn't cry!

We did find out he has a third nipple... so that was interesting. LOL!! It's this weird little indentation/dimple that Ben had when he was the same age. I thought it was so funny and weird that they had identical birthmarks in the the exact same place... now I guess I know why. Apparently it's a genetic thing. Who knew?

We talked about potty training a little... the doc really didn't have anything to tell me I didn't already know or haven't already tried. We'll just keep plugging away...

Simon's 6-Year Well Visit... or, An Example of How the Graff Family "Descends" Upon Places...

I had the pleasure of taking all  three children to Simon's well-visit yesterday morning.  You may remember how I was offered Xanax by the pediatrician the last time this happened.  It's always a treat. BUT, on the whole, my boys are actually very well behaved and while it's not an ideal situation to have to try to talk and listen to a doctor with three boys crammed into a small room, it's doable.

However, lately, there has been a ridiculous amount of fighting between Simon and Jonathan over absolutely everything, but a biggie is who gets to push elevator and automatic door buttons, of which there are many at our pediatrician's office. Sigh. I dread it. They both whine and screech and squeal and then sometimes Ben forgets he is nine and decides to get in on the "my turn!!" action too. Seriously?

So after two rounds of whining, I finally offered to pay the older two a quarter for every button they willingly let Jonathan push.

Genius.  Genius I tell you.  They each earned $1.25 and we had a peaceful walk up to the office. Ahhhhh....

It all changed when we got to the office, however, and the receptionist held me up at the desk over something stupid. (okay, so I may have forgotten which child's well visit I was there for and confused her...)

While this was going on, Simon and Jonathan started fighting over the train table. Now, I have been cursing that train table since it appeared in the doctor's office waiting room sometime last year. All my kids do is fight over it. Jonathan doesn't want anyone near him or the train he is pushing, so he sounds his baby dinosaur alarm whenever anyone tries to run their train through the track where he is. P;lus he always wants the trains... ALLLL the trains. He also likes to destroy the track and throw pieces of it across the room. AWESOME.

Simon, at six, still wants to play trains and wants CERTAIN trains and he wants to play with them the "right" way and hates when Jonathan messes up the tracks.... and OMG... kill me. I HATE THE TRAIN TABLE. Mind you, we have trains at home and they hardly ever get touched. So what gives?

There were two families with us in the waiting room, both with newborns. And I know they were watching the scene with horror and/or judgement. (that's okay, I did that too once... karma will get you someday, people!) My two youngest kids were yelling at each other, train tracks and bridges were flying.  I kept kneeling down and taking Jonathan by the shoulders while talking calmly about "nice hands" and "sharing with Simon". This was mostly for the benefit of the parents around me though because I knew it wasn't going to do much good. The only way to really fix it/discipline him in this kind of scenario is to remove him from the room or take the toys away neither of which I could do at the present moment.

Alternately, I'd pull Simon aside and tell him to use the trains he had and not to take things from Jonathan. Mostly I was just biding my time until the nurse called us back.

Mercifully, she came out to get Simon for his hearing and vision test. He balked, leapt into a chair, curled up into the fetal position and started making low growling noises that sounded like a very small demon.

WTH?

The nurse stood, waiting. I picked Simon up, put him on his feet and pushed him toward her. He stopped and sat down.

"Okay, hold on for one second." I said to the nurse.

I went and scooped up Jonathan from the train table, grabbed Simon by his right hand and dragged him down the hallway.

GEEZ.

He was fine after that so can someone please explain why that was all necessary?

After that, things returned to normal and Ben and Jonathan played quietly in the waiting room while we waited for Simon to return.

Then Ben announced he had to go to the bathroom.

"It's right over there, " I said, pointing. He looked at me with a a worried expression.

"Dude, you are NINE years old, the bathroom is RIGHT there, I can see it from here... go. And hurry because they are going to bring Simon back any minute now and we'll have to go back to the exam room."

Finally, he went.

That's the precise moment the nurse popped her head out, "Simon?"

Sigh.

"One second. My other one's in the bathroom," I said as I once again scooped up Jonathan and took Simon by the hand.

She didn't smile.

Okay then... I walked over to the bathroom to see what was taking Ben so long. "Ben are you almost finished?"

"Yes."

"They are taking us back to the rooms. Do you remember where those are?"

"NO!!! Don't leave!!!"

Sigh. (this is God paying me back for doing this kind of thing to my mom my entire childhood)

I leaned my head against the door and we waited.... and waited...

It felt like an eternity before he came out. That kid stores a LOT of volume in his bladder. FINALLY we followed the nurse back to the rooms.

Simon got weighed and Ben watched anxiously. He always does.

"51 pounds, 12 ounces." said the nurse.

"Aw MAN!!!!" exclaimed Ben from the corner. You see, he knew this day was coming. The day his younger brother outweighed him. And now it seems he does... by about two pounds. LOL.

He was 45 and 3/4 inches, so Ben still has a couple inches on Simon he can cling to.

She initially put us in the exam room that I swear is a converted janitor's closet. She took Simon's blood pressure and surveyed the scene. "I'm going to move you guys the room across the hall when it's free.... just so you have more room."

"Bless you." was my reply. These boys need space to spread out while we wait or they start climbing the chairs (and me) and the exam table like a family of chimps in a cage that's too small.

We moved and the waiting began. We played some games of "I spy with my little eye", but we've played so many times in that room we're running out of tricky things to choose. "I spy something pink!" "The baby's hat in the photo." "Shoot"  "I spy something green!" "The floor."  "Darn it." Etc....

Simon complained about having to undress to his underwear even though at home, when I tell him to go get dressed, I will go up a half hour later and find him naked playing Legos.

Ben spun circles on the squeaky stool and LITERALLY tried to climb the wall. Simon destroyed the tissue paper liner on the table. Jonathan climbed the exam table and eventually resorted to playing with the stirrups, which is his go-to favorite activity in the pediatrician's exam rooms.

Finally the doctor came in. I know he's always amused when I have the whole brood with me. I wish I could see it from his perspective sometimes because I'm sure it's really very funny.

He talked to Simon for awhile and then started the exam. When he looked it Simon's ears he remarked, "Well, it's a miracle he passed the hearing exam because both ears are REALLY infected."

Awesome. Mom of the year! (I had actually kind of suspected that because he has been super congested lately, but he hadn't had a fever or said anything hurt, so we waited, knowing he was going to the doctor anyway.)

He also has a sinus infection. So our well-visit also became a sick visit.

We managed to get through most of the rest of exam without incident until Jonathan, who had been playing with Ben, started yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Ben! Whatever you are doing to him, PLEASE stop it!!!" I said.

"I'm not doing anything! I was just trying get him to make eye contact with me!!" was his indignant reply.  (he has sat through one too many sessions with our teachers from Infants and Toddlers)

Then from Jonathan we heard, "Noooooooo! STOP EYE CONTACTING ME, BEN!!!!"

I lost it and looked over to see Dr. B doing the same.  He had his head down on his laptop just laughing and laughing. Finally he composed himself and said, "Well, your family certainly is.... well educated!"

LOL.

Sooooo anyway...  other than the ear infection/sinus infection, Simon is a really healthy kiddo. We talked about his mood issues some (Dr. B got to see some of that for himself while we were there). He and I agreed that it's something to watch and maybe we'll end up taking him to the same psychologist Ben saw last year to figure some things out. We also talked about the possible attention issues brought up by the kindergarten teacher. I said I honestly didn't see that in him (and believe me when I say we know ADHD at our house....) but we were keeping an eye on it. He agreed with that and said, "Yeah. I don't want to add anything else to your plate in that respect right now.... let's just keep an eye on it and keep me posted."  God bless that man. It goes without saying that if I were really worried, I wouldn't hesitate to get him evaluated, but I'm not at the moment and really want to see how first grade starts off in the fall before thinking about anything like that. I'm much more concerned about his moodiness/angry outbursts than anything else.

He didn't offer me Xanax this visit, so I must have been more composed than I was previously. ;)
So all in all, a great visit I guess?

As for Simon's percentiles, because I always put them in these posts for my reference later:
76th for weight and 45th for height.  Yeah... he's dense! LOL!

The Last Few Days....

Jonathan and I are a little lost still without school to occupy us, but we're adjusting... slowly. Playdates have helped! :)  Aunt Krystyna and Alek invited us over to swim this past Friday and swim we did... in their awesome and beautiful pool!

That night, Tom and I took the boys over to our pool club for a whole evening of swimming, where we ran into our usual summer pool friends and some other friends we were surprised, but so excited to see there! The boys had a blast and wore themselves out. We stayed until almost 8p.m.!

Saturday morning, after swim lessons, we loaded up the car and headed west to Cumberland for Tom's cousin's graduation party. We stayed the night at a hotel and the boys swam some more at the hotel's indoor pool, which we had all to ourselves! I don't have any pictures, because I was too busy swimming too! Ben even raced me all the way across the pool! He was proud of himself and SUPER fast! Swim team starts this week, so I hope he stays confident!

The next morning, Jonathan and Ben (okay, mostly Jonathan) had a hotel room dance party while Simon and Tom loaded the van up to head home.

We relaxed, unpacked and caught up yesterday afternoon while Jonathan napped and then went to drop  some dinner off to Uncle Taylor and Aunt Sarah at their new house. We didn't stay, as our brood tends to descend upon places and Taylor and Sarah were crazy busy unpacking and getting organized, so the timing was NOT good... but we did get a quick tour and the boys put their stamp of approval on the playroom and amazingly awesome backyard! We are so excited for them!

Last night at bedtime, I noticed the constant allergy post-nasal drip cough Ben has been sporting for something like a month now had suddenly gotten much worse and he started saying his ear hurt. GRR... even with diligently keeping up with the Zyrtec and Nasonex for two months, his allergies have been beyond BEYOND ridiculous this year. He has been making this godawful, disgusting snorting sound constantly and keeps sniffing all the goop back into his head... anyway,  so he had managed to acquire what I was pretty was a sinus infection and an ear infection. A quick run to the pediatrician this morning confirmed my suspicions... actually, we technically caught it before it turned into a full-blown ear infection, but taking Ben's history into account, he went ahead and gave him antibiotics anyway.

WHEW... after that I got him back to school in time to keep his perfect attendance streak alive. It's a total fluke that he even HAS perfect attendance... not something we set out to do this year... just an unusually healthy year for him.... but now, with 9 days left to go, we're both determined to see it through to the end!

So that catches us up? I think? Onward to another busy week. We have our first-ever real, paid babysitter coming tomorrow night to watch the kids so Tom and I can go see John Williams conduct the BSO. It's going to a late night and it will be a total miracle if I can even stay away.  But... we'll see. The kids are super excited about Miss Tara coming over to play and so am I! :)

My brother's wedding is Sunday, so we're getting ready for that too...

After that? SUMMER can officially begin... well, next Friday when school ends. ;) Almost there!!

Crazy Eyes and Ben's 9-year Well Visit

Yesterday, at Ben's well-visit, I had all three boys with me since it was at 3:30 and I had to pick Simon up from school with Ben in order for it to work. (3:30 would not have been my first choice, but at this practice, you take what they give you because you never know when another appointment will be available....really. freaking. annoying.)

Anyway, so to set the scene. Jonathan was a tornado.  On the table, off the table, on the stool, off the stool, run headlong into the door, bounce off, laugh, lather, rinse, repeat.

Simon was in pod-child mode, as we call his cranky phases.  He's been this way for a good two weeks now. Don't know why. BUT,  he was at least quiet and content playing Minecraft on my phone while we waited.

Ben was playing it cool, just happy to be sprung from school early and to not have to get any shots in exchange. He was mostly just complaining about having to sit around in his underwear.

It was all very manageable and under control, I thought. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary for daily life at our house. Honestly, I pat myself on the back a lot for the amount of tolerance I have built up to the chaos that constantly swarms around me.

So, the doctor came in, did Ben's exam and then proceeded to try to talk to me, as he always does, over the din of my offspring. At this point, Jonathan decided to grab the phone out of Simon's hand. Simon took it back. Jonathan screamed in Simon's face.

Then, in a moment I am not proud of (and which Simon will probably discuss with a therapist someday), desperate to not have Jonathan throw a fit, I yanked the phone out of Simon's hand and handed it to Jonathan. Simon got, understandably, pretty ticked off. I shushed both of them, but Simon was in no mood to be quiet about the injustice.

Never once during any of this did the pediatrician stop talking. Apparently, this is a thing with pediatricians, I have learned. I'm pretty sure it's something they teach them in medical school.  Pediatricians don't wait for a break in the chaos, or for kids to quiet down, they just keep going and expect you to listen and respond to what they are saying. I suffer from "oh look a squirrel!" syndrome as it is, so this is crazy difficult for me, but I do my best... mostly nodding and smiling. (and then thinking, "Crap. What did he just say?")

As unideal as the situation was, what with Jonathan climbing like a capuchin monkey over and around my head and the shrieking from Simon about the cell phone, it wasn't anything I haven't dealt with before.

At that point, the pediatrician asked how I was doing,  at least, I was pretty sure that was what he asked, but I wasn't sure I heard him right over the screeching, so I said, "What? Who? Me?"

"Yes, you. How are you feeling? You know you can always talk to me if things are getting too crazy."

"Oh, Doctor B," I said, laughing, "90% of my days are this crazy! It's allllll good."

He laughed and said, "And that's a reasonable answer I'd expect from a mom of three boys. But I just want to let you know that if you ever want to talk, you can always call me and my door is always open. I don't usually prescribe Xanax to moms, but I can certainly help you figure out how to go about that if you want."

[Record scratch sound effect here]

Time out.

I was pretty sure he had just suggested I need anxiety medication.

I laughed it off. I was used to his "How are you feeling?" line of questioning and honestly thought it was standard at the end of well visits for all his moms, and actually probably standard in general because our old pediatrician did a few of these checkins right after I had Simon, asking if I felt depressed or if I had enough help and support.

Something about it got me thinking though...

It dawned on me on the ride home as I replayed the Xanax conversation in my head, that I knew enough other moms whose kids go to Dr. B that I could take an informal poll. Of course he checked on the mental status of all the moms... right? right?

Yeah. No. I'm 0 for 2 on that and I have one more mom to ask this afternoon. But I'm pretty sure our pediatrician thinks I'm one poopy diaper away from a room at the mental institution.

Is my life that insane? Does it look unmanageable from the outside? Do I seem completely nuts?

I mean, yes,  I'm overwhelmed sometimes and, if I'm being honest, I'm a little (lot) high-strung anyway... but I think I manage okay. I think? Jonathan's arrival into our family has actually chilled me out significantly. Three boys really will change your definition of chaos. I suggest it to anyone who is suffering from a bad case of Type A'ness.

Anyway... it's a funny story to tell, for sure.... but I am seriously battling the instinct to call him and ask why he thinks I might need Xanax! Did I have my crazy eyes on yesterday?! LOL! I asked around and no one else who saw me yesterday seemed to think so; but then again maybe they are just hoping to not set off the crazy mom.

As for Ben, he is healthy and wonderful and all that good stuff. Fifty pounds and 48-1/4 inches. No shots or anything, so he was thrilled!  Dr. B said he is happy with his growth (which has been a concern in the past) and that he's the slowest growing of my kids but very consistent. Ready for the percentiles? Because you have to laugh at this....  4th percentile for weight. Less than 3rd for height. LOL. Hope he has a growth spurt soon!

The Rest of Our Week...

Well, Simon bounced back quickly from his crazy day. He stayed home from the school the next day to give the antibiotics time to kick in. I let him spend the entire day building Legos in his room and he told me, "Mommy, I really like building Legos all by myself when it's so quiet here!"  I guess I take for granted that he's never really here by himself or even just with Jonathan and me. When he's here, EVERYONE'S usually home and yeah, it can be pretty loud and crazy around here.

Jonathan had a well-visit that day, so the doctor got to get a look at Simon and told me next time he has that reaction to getting sick, to bring him into the office instead of going to the ER because he wants to see it in action.

In Jonathan news, he had his well visit and is 30 pounds and 36 inches tall. I think the nurse may have been generous on the inches because I measured him just the other day only got 34-1/2. He was a little wiggly on the table while she was measuring. LOL.  But going by those stats he's in the 44th percentile for weight and the 29th for height.

The doctor listened to him jabber on about computers and passwords and pushing buttons and declared, "Well, he definitely doesn't have a speech delay anymore and he's certainly not autistic." I agree with the speech delay but just nodded and smiled at the "not autistic" comment. Do I think he's autistic in the way that most people think of when they think of someone who is autistic? No. Do I think he may have some mild spectrum-y tendencies much like his oldest brother that don't necessarily interfere that much with his functioning?  Probably. But at this point it's kind of semantics, neither here nor there, and definitely not worth arguing with the pediatrician.

Anyway, so Thursday, Simon was completely fine and went to school, though a little worn out when he got home.
:)

So yay for a quiet end to the week and beginning of spring break!

Yesterday Went Sideways....

Jonathan and I had a lovely morning at preschool yesterday. We stopped at Safeway on the way home and got some things to take to Grandmom's for dinner since Tom was going to be home late.  We came home and I was just explaining to him how we were going to have some lunch and then he was going to take his nap, when my phone started buzzing on the counter.

I didn't recognize the number. "Hello?" I said, assuming it was going to some kind of sales call.

"Hi, Mrs. Graff. It's Melissa, the school nurse from Jacksonville. How are you?"

"I'm okay... but... uhoh?"

"Yeeeah... I have a very green Simon here in my office."

(relief) "Oh no... He must have caught the stomach virus that's going around his class. I'll be right up."

"Well, Beth C. is here with me and says she'll bring him home for you if you want."

"That's okay. I don't want him to puke in her car. I'm right around the corner. Be there in five minutes."

Jonathan and I jumped back in the car and headed to school. I was not particularly worried about anything except getting my mom to come up and sit with him later so I could go get Ben at school or having her get Ben at school.

Then I got there.

Nothing could have prepared me for the sight I encountered when I turned the corner into the nurse's office. Simon was sitting with Beth with his head in a trash can. His face was completely ashen, his eyes were glassy and his lips had NO color whatsoever. He could only nod to say yes or shake his head for no.

The nurse thought maybe he just really needed to throw up since he was complaining his belly hurt, so she was pushing water and Coke. Nothing was happening. His eyes kept rolling back and then closing and he couldn't even support his own weight to sit up, much less stand or walk.

Scary. Scary. STUFF.  Ranks up there with scariest stuff I've experienced as a mom EVER.

She took his pulse, which was normal and  his blood pressure, which was on the low side of normal.  Everyone agreed he was stable enough that  I should take a minute and call the pediatrician to ask him what I should do. I called him and nurse put me on hold and then came back on to tell me I needed to immediately take him to the ER.

Wait. What? How?

I looked around at my somewhat desperate situation... Jonathan, who had a completely full diaper and was due for a nap and currently rolling around on the health room floor. (gag) No diaper bag or other supplies on me. A 50-pound, obviously ill five-year-old who couldn't walk and looked like he was going to slip into a coma at any moment, oh and Ben, lest I forget him, was still in class, oblivious to all the action.  Should I call an ambulance?! Should I throw them both in the car and just drive as fast as I could to the hospital and sort the rest out later? What about Ben? He had to get home from school somehow!

I called the pediatrician again, must have sounded frantic enough that the gatekeeper let me talk to him personally instead of just relaying the message. I don't even remember what I said, I just wanted to hear it directly from HIM that going to the ER was actually necessary. He assured me it was because of how sudden it all came on. And then he asked me a bunch of questions about if he'd possibly gotten into any medication or poisons. "Nothing! He has been at school all morning!" Can I let him go to sleep?" I asked. "Because he really just wants to sleep." He told me that was okay. I was relieved, beacuse I was fighting a losing battle on that one.

At some point, I called my husband who was in North Carolina and thus completely useless to me. I called my mom who was a half hour away at the grocery store, but headed out immediately. Then I called my mother-in-law who is ten minutes away and she came right over to school. Between my mother-in-law, the nurse, Beth and I, we formulated a plan that  I'd drive the van up to the door and they'd wheel Simon to the car and life him into his seat.  My mother-in-law would watch Jonathan at the house and give him his nap, my mom would come with me to the ER, and Beth would pick Ben up from school and take him home.

We headed to the house, where I left Jonathan with my mother-in-law and took a minute to grab some gatorade, snacks, some cash, extra clothes for Simon, a blanket, his DS and my laptop. (Not my first rodeo!)  By that time, my mom was almost to our house, so I picked her up on the way at the nearby grocery store and she talked to Simon all the way to the hospital. He sipped on the Gatorade and eventually started to perk up enough to make silly faces at himself in the rear-view mirror.

As we got closer to the hospital, he still looked tired but he was talking and could walk on his own. They took us right back and he got a hundred different tests... blood sugar, EKG, flu, strep, blood pressure standing up, sitting down and laying down. All was normal... except for strep. That he had.

So after being there three hours what they concluded is that he had strep... yes... but that his body's reaction to a mild fever/dehydration and onset of illness caused what's called a vasovagal reaction...  this happens to Tom too. He turns completely ashen and then passes out cold and this is often the first warning of an illness that he gets. It's great fun, really.  It happens to his mom and grandmother too but illness isn't their trigger... they don't have any known trigger... just seems random! We had actually started to suspect this might be the case while in the nurse's office and I was happy to have it basically confirmed.

He's on an antibiotic for the strep now and is completely back to normal and will go to school tomorrow. And now we know what to watch for next time and what to do. (lay him down and push fluids)  The school nurse sent me an email about how she'll put it in his file and what she'll do if it happens at school again. It's actually all pretty fortuitous that it happened to him this young so we know what to do going forward and to keep an eye out for it happening again.

Anyway, so scary stuff!! Glad today is a more normal day!!

Finally!

Ben had a followup checkup today for a couple different things, including an ear infection from WAYyyyy back. (oops... mom of the year!) Anyway, they checked his height and he is FINALLY, finally four feet tall. He was so excited! ;)

10th percentile for weight (49 pounds) and 3rd for height. LOL.  Once a peanut, always a peanut. ;)

Christmas "Break"....

Christmas has come and gone. (Christmas post coming later) Anyone else feel like it was kind of a letdown this year, being on a Tuesday and all?

Ah well...

Maybe it was a combination of things for us. For example, we spent two days right before Christmas dealing with after-hours pediatric care. Ben had a pretty straight-forward ear infection on Saturday and on Sunday, Jonathan stepped on a stuffed Clifford in the basement and rolled/twisted/did something really crazy to his foot/ankle.

He screamed and screamed, and it is rather unlike him now to shake things off quickly. Add to that, he couldn't walk and wouldn't put weight on his foot off to urgent care we went. I sat with him among some grotesquely ill sniffly sneezy people for THREE HOURS. Finally got an xray and they determined there was no fracture they could see (apparently sometimes these things take time to show up) and that it was probably a sprain. They told me he should start putting weight on it in the next day or two and if not, get it looked at again.

Two days passed and he still wouldn't put weight on it. He did, however get really adept about with getting around. It was interesting to watch him adapt so quickly. I started to wonder what went through his head. Did he just think this was how life was now? LOL.

We were concerned because when we would stand him up he would still immediately grab his foot and cry that it hurt. The day after Christmas, we headed off to the pediatrician when Ben spiked a fever despite being on abx for the ear infection (it was neverending over here!!!)  so I had the doctor look at J's foot. He manipulated it in a hundred different ways, banged on the bottom of his foot, pressed all over, stood him up (J did his flamingo move, as usual). He said it may have been a fracture we hadn't been able to see at the time of the x-ray... but that we should give it another day or two and if he still wasn't trying to walk, then we should get another x-ray.

I was a breath away from getting the second x-ray, when just Wednesday (1-1/2 weeks at this point) he started walking holding on to furniture. Yesterday, he walked independently (with a limp, but still) FINALLY. He still says it hurts sometimes, but I think whatever it was is healing.

Sheesh.

Two-Year Well Visit....

Jonathan had his belated two-year well visit this afternoon.

Interesting stats! He's four pounds heavier than Ben at the same age, and 2-1/2 pounds lighter than Simon at two. Still right in the middle!!  (and actually, statistically too, he's about as middle of the road as he can get!)

Heightwise? He's a quarter inch TALLER than Simon was at two, which kind of blew me away! I didn't write down Ben's height at two for some reason.. just that his percentile was 10th... LOL. So he's clearly substantially taller than Ben was.  Did Ben being such a poor eater REALLY make that much of a difference in his size? Crazy!

At 24 months:

your child is 28 pounds, and that is
at the 49th percentile for weight.

your child is 34.25 inches, and that is
at the 42th percentile for height.

He's in perfect health and Dr. B was pleased to hear about all of his speech progress, which we talked about at length. He was actually surprised at the level of services we are still getting from the county based on where he is now with his talking. He says they usually back off once the kids have that verbal explosion and begin putting words together. I told him I think Miss Cindy just must really like coming to visit us. ;)  (In truth, he really does still need it though!) 

Two shots...the second of his hep A and his flu shot. He cried, but it was quick and then we were off. Back in six months instead of a year, which I thought was odd, but he said he likes to see them at least every six months until they are three... so we'll be back sooner than later, I guess.

All Inclusive Update....

I love summer.... I think this every single day, multiple times a day even though we've been stuck inside a lot lately because of 100 degree temps and no car. I just LOVE the laziness of it all. I'm trying to savor it and store it all up in my mind because the crazy days of having to be out the door at 8:55 every morning are fast approaching.

Okay, so updates...

Hrm... 

Ben -- has mostly phased out of sharks and has yet to pick a new obsession... waiting anxiously to see what we'll all be living and breathing for the next few months and hoping it's not Metroid. He has become VERY into the old Nintendo game lately. I told Tom to do everything within his power to make sure this does not become the next 24/7 obsession because I HATE the video game phases... gahhhh... 

We went to the eye doctor the other day to follow up on his second grade teacher's observation that he couldn't see the board/projector well this past year. As we suspected, he is ready for glasses. We knew it was coming after he had his first appointment three years ago (apparently they can predict these things now with eye measurements), so no surprise, He is super excited to go pick them out! 

Simon -- has been super sweet and pleasant lately. I feel sorry for him sometimes because he is often the odd man out when we have playdates. Ben likes to hoard any older kids that come over and he is too old to play with the toddlers. I'm excited for him to make some new friends at school this year that are all his own.  I'm also looking forward to him playing soccer in the fall because I think it will do him good to have something that is all his own... he is constantly being dragged to things Ben is doing or interested in. I have toyed with the idea of putting him in the new martial arts school that is right by our house, but not sure if we want one more commitment right now.  

Jonathan -- BIG happenings on the talking front in the last two weeks. He has a solid 25 words that he uses every day now, including his newest ones, "Hot" and "Cold". Also, just this week, something clicked and he is repeating most things if you say, "Say, xxxx" And... we got our first multi-word phrase when we were playing with water balloons the other day! H came running in to the mud room, where I was trying to fill them faster than they could break them, tugged at my leg and said, "More blue balloon!" (it sounded like "Mo boo ba-oon.") So things are coming along. We continue with speech therapy because he is still behind at this point. It can't hurt and the teacher has given us lots of ways to encourage him to use words... but I do think it's all going to be fine. :) 

OH! And in even bigger news, we broke him of the crib climbing thing and I am STILL shocked that it worked. It's proof that Super Nanny knows what she is talking about. I basically just went in every single time I saw him throw his leg over the side and made him lay back down. (five times the first day at naptime) At the end of his nap, if we went in and he hadn't climbed out, we praised him and clapped and made a huge deal out of it.  It only took about two days... and no more climbing! Thank goodness... that was bad times.

So that's where we are lately... :) Summer is flying by and I have a birthday party of some kind to plan soon... how did THAT happen?!

5-year Well Visit....

Simon had his well visit yesterday. It was exceedingly uneventful, thankfully. NO shots at the 5-year. Whew.

All is well. He's super-healthy and Dr. B was impressed at the wide array of veggies Simon's rattled off that he loves. "Asparagus! Broccolli! Peas! Corn! Squash!" LOL.   The kid made me look goooooood!

He weighed in at 46 pounds. (79th percentile!) and is 43-1/2 inch tall (56th). So still up there on the curve. I wonder where he'll top out height-wise when he's older? Is he going to be taller than Tom? I'm so curious!

Anyway... nothing else to report. Vision and hearing good. He was unfazed by the whole thing, which is good because I was busy keeping J from scaling the exam table and climbing in and out of the book drawer.  Ben played DS while sitting in J's stroller and would occasionally interject into the conversation between Simon and the doctor things like, "I like to eat fish!" and "ewwww... broccoli!!"

OH! I do have to take S for a bloodtest for food allergies just to follow up on that shrimp episode from his birthday... the doctor didn't want to take any chances given my brother's shellfish allergy. Happy about that. NOT happy that I have hold him down for a bloodtest. Yikes.

Never a dull moment with the Graff three....

8th Birthday Well Visit...

Ben had his well-visit at the pediatrician this morning. He was okay with this because he was told last year that there were no more shots until he is 11. Unfortunately, that is not ACTUALLY true because he gets a flu shot in the fall and has one more Hepatitis A shot to get at the same time. BUT, for today, he was safe, and that's all that mattered. ;)

The big news? He gained SIX POUNDS this year... he's now up to 46-1/2 pounds... AND? He grew TWO inches and is now 47 inches talll! Not sure how he managed that given that he lives on Eggo waffles and peanut butter and jelly, but there you go.

I have to take him for an eye exam because they tested him at 20/40 for distance, which coincides with his teacher's observation that he has been complaining about being able to see things on the overhead projector from 12 feet away. I know for certain from his last eye doctor appointment that he WILL need glasses, but thought we had a couple more years... then, Tom mentioned that eight years old is when he got HIS glasses... so I'll be surprised if we walk away from the appointment without a prescription.

Otherwise, all is well, which is great! :)

Didn't have the heart to tell him he'll need shots in the fall... we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. ;)

ETA: Holy cow... I just looked up his stats and he's in the 7th and 6th percentiles. Someone's gotta be there, I know... but sheesh. Poor kid!

Measuring Up....

Jonathan had his belated 18-month well-visit today... all looks fantastic, even his ears which I was ever-so-slightly concerned about because a) he has had a cold and b) he jammed that DS stylus in there a few weeks ago. But, thankfully, they are good too. ;)

I was curious to see how much he weighed because he has felt heavier to me lately, but,turns out, he hasn't gained anything since the last time we were there for a sick visit. He's 25 pounds and 32 inches long. (31st and 26th percentiles). As per usual for our kids, his head is enormous at 19.5 inches and in the 86th. HAHAHA... sheesh.

Always fun to compare to big brothers, so here's the lowdown. At 18 months, the other boys were --
Ben -- 23 pounds and 31 inches. (15th percentile and 25th percentile)
Simon -- 28 pounds and is 32 inches long (75th and 26th percentiles)

So he's hanging around right in the middle! Interesting that, at least for now, it looks like he's going to be pretty average height-wise, instead of on the shorter end like Ben... I say that only because Simon holds pretty steady in the 50th range these days and his height is exactly what Simon's was at the same age...) I think the weight difference between J and B is that J actually eats you know, like food... LOL.

The doctor was happy to hear I had looked into the speech thing. Like me, he doesn't think there is anything developmental to be concerned about, but that he definitely, at this point, could use some therapy to get things moving. So YAY! :)

No shots today and we don't have to go back until fall. :)

Plague and Pestilence..

Yesterday afternoon Jonathan threw himself on the floor in a fit because I wouldn't let him stand by the kitchen door and continually open and close it. This is not particularly unusual. But, when I picked him up off the floor to relocate him so his brothers wouldn't whack him in the head when they came in from outside, I noticed he felt not just warm, but completely burning hot.

I gave him the backdoor thermometer check and what?! 104?!

NO idea where that came from.

I actually assumed it was his ear infection making a comeback. Seeing as how we have potential weather hitting tomorrow, I played it safe and took him in to the doctor's office this morning. It my surprise, his ears are fine, as are his throat, chest and nose. Just a fever bug. My bets are on roseola since he hasn't had it yet and seems like all my kids have contracted it sometime around 1-1/2. It's actually a nice one to go ahead and get out of the way and checked off, so I'm hoping I'm right. Guess we'll see if the next week brings a rash...

At any rate, he has been sleeping a lot of today and is super snuggly. :) I am enjoying the cuddling while it lasts because when he's not sick, he's the least snuggly baby I have ever had!

Update....

Ben had some fluid in his ear and some pain when the doctor puffed air onto his eardrum (that diagnostic test was a new one for me!) so he's on an antibiotic now.

Simon somehow emerged from that awful snot-fest with NO ear infection, so YAY for that.

Still can't figure out how the one that didn't have a cold ended up with one... but whatever!

We got bonus weigh-ins, of course. I was SHOCKED to hear that Ben is now 46 pounds!!! Must be the five waffles he eats every morning. Simon is 44-1/2 pounds these days.