Preschool's End….

Jonathan had his last day of preschool and picnic on Wednesday. Here's his first day of 2s and last day of 4s side-by-side. Time really does fly. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!

He has come such a long way! He was only JUST starting to talk when he started 2s. Like… single words! He didn't know how to interact with other kids. In 3s, he could talk, but he cried every single day about having to go to school, sometimes having to be restrained by the teacher so he wouldn't hurt anyone with his flailing and kicking. He also didn't really engage with the other kids very much.  This year, he never exactly LOVED the idea that it was a school day, but he almost always went in without issue and always had fun and was happy when I picked him up.

He went from three half days at the start of the year to one extended day by early winter, to two after Christmas and by the end of the year, he was staying all day all three days. He was TIRED when I picked him up, but always had fun with his extended day friends! He cultivated some cute little friendships, including one with his cousin, who he says is his "best friend". I'm pretty sure he is the only one of my children to have ever claimed having a best friend at this age. :)

Here's a little snippet of video from his mother's day luncheon two weeks ago. The 4s group this year was SO tiny compared to my other boys' years! Comes in waves….   (Ben and Simon's grades at the elementary school are still HUGE.)

My last preschool picnic was different than all the rest. I always sort of dreaded them because it's hot on that playground, there's very little shade in the picnic area, they are chaotic, and I was ALWAYS either dealing with a baby or chasing a toddler. (even last year, I was still having to make sure Jonathan didn't kill himself on the playground equipment!) We never lasted more than an hour. This year, we stayed past the time it was over. LOL. My sister-in-law and I just hung out on the grass enjoying the fact that we didn't have younger ones to keep track of.  There are good things about time passing and babies growing up… this is one of them. 

His mother's day gift plate. I now have a complete set of three! ;)  This particular plate is super special. This is the first time I had seen him write his whole first name out and not just "Jon". He also drew our family and had never drawn anything other than scribbles before!  

At the mother's day luncheon with mommy!

Before his mother's day luncheon two weeks ago. All spiffed up and ready to go! 

Jonathan with his sweet teacher, Mrs. Bobo. She is the only teacher to have had all three of my boys. Love her. :) We will miss her lots and lots.

And This One….

LOL.

Lefty Righty….

Jonathan is the only one of my kids to dilly dally about picking a dominant hand. (for those keeping score we have one of each at this point, so Jonathan is the tie-breaker)

The psychologist who tested him last year thought he seemed like he had more control with his left hand. The OT who sees him currently at preschool says the opposite and has been pushing him to write with his right hand.

At home, he switches constantly when he writes, but he cuts left-handed and eats left-handed. This made me inclined to question the OT's right-handed assumption and I wasn't sure I wanted him being pushed to use the wrong hand. I emailed the kindergarten teacher and his preschool teacher. His preschool teacher says he switches a lot in class, uses all left one day, all right the next and both on another. The kindergarten teacher (who knows the OT because she works at the elem. school) told me they generally want them to have chosen a hand by mid-kindergarten, but that she nor the OT would ever force anything. She also told me some different things to try to experiment and see what I observed.

Shortly after that, he started drawing on his easel, so I whipped out the camera.  Well, today anyway he is most certainly right handed! LOL!

I had to laugh after I had just told the two teachers it's confusing because he switches all the time….

I sent the video to the kindergarten teacher saying, "I should have known not to question the expert!" (meaning the OT)

She wrote back, "Yeah. I'd say right-handed!!"

Is he or isn't he? Now I'm inclined to say with writing anyway, we have another righty!

Preschool Funnies….

This was waiting for me on top of Jonathan's cubby this afternoon:

"Wow. Who did he make write all THIS?" I asked, giggling.

His teacher emerged from around the corner of the doorframe, also laughing. "That was me. He told me everything to write. I wasn't sure about that last word, so he spelled it for me. I still have no idea what it means, but I just went with it."

(it's a character in an old video game Simon talks about all the time)

In the other room, with the extended day teacher, I walked in to find Jonathan tossing random assorted things into a bowl of water to see if they sank or floated. She laughed and said, "This was supposed to be a lesson about evergreen trees, but it turned into this. He asked me to give you the recipe."

Jonathan pipes up from the table, "Yes. You just add water and items. I wanted to add vinegar and fruit but Miss Sally didn't have any."

"He also wanted to know how you make paper bags, but I didn't know. So he told me to ask Siri. When I told him I didn't have Siri on my phone, he told me to try Google Now. I told him I didn't have internet here at school. (school has really bad cell phone reception) He said "WHAT?!?!? Chestnut Grove doesn't have INTERNET? Then he told me to look under 'settings'  to make sure."

LOL. At least he keeps them laughing… ;) Next year will either be an absolute disaster or totally hilarious. 

Three Kid Updates….

I hate when I let too much time pass between entries. I don't know where to start.

I guess i'll start where I left off. So that test Ben said he didn't need to study for…. he managed to get an 80%. Pretty respectable. But, he'll be reviewing next time.  ;)

We got to visit Ben's school last week for an open house. It was our first chance to see him in his classroom. It was an eye-opening experience, for sure. He looks really, really happy and comfortable. We saw morning meeting (a little thing they do every morning in homeroom), writing and tech (they were typing something in the tech lab that they had written), and math. The fifth grade is divided into three math sec ions and his math class has 13 kids in it The small class means there is NO hiding… the teacher walks from desk to desk to make sure everyone is doing the right thing and understanding.  One of the the things that struck us as most interesting while we observed (we saw Ben's classes and also wandered into some middle school classes), is how readily kids raised their hands to say they needed clarification on something or weren't getting a concept.  No one seemed worried about looking stupid or getting a wrong answer… and the teachers were in no rush to move on until everyone was on the same page. That's a pretty big deal!

As for Simon --

He just started private cello lessons with a new teacher. The large group situation wasn't working well for him, which the school instrumental teacher waited three entire sessions before decided to share with me. (and only after I asked) At any rate, it was a good move, because he came home from his first lesson yesterday all smiles, saying, "Mr. G says I am a good cellist!" He loves it!

He is doing well in school. Math and spelling are his best subjects. (spelling is the big surprise!) They have been reading chapter books in school finally… just finished Freckle Juice and another one called Elevator Duck. He also picked up his first chapter book to read on his own. (He loves to be read to, but has never had any interest in reading a chapter book of his own accord) Handwriting is still pretty atrocious and his teacher gives him extra practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Truthfully, I'm just biding my time with that until he can just type everything. I don't hold out much hope his handwriting is every going to improve all that substantially. LOL. 

He has been playing a TON with Scratch and Makey-Makey lately. He persistence with this amazes me. Yesterday, he fashioned a room alarm that involved a Scratch program and an aluminum foil step near his door. When you stepped on the foil, it set the alarm off on the computer. Color me impressed. We basically let him play with Scratch, Makey Makey, and anything else coding/invention related as much as he wants even though it's technically "screen time". It's the one thing he is extremely self-motivated about… he REALLY has a knack for it and he has taught himself a ton. 

Not much new in Jonathan-land. He stays for extended days at preschool now more days than not and seems to like it.   :)

He has gotten more into writing lately and is doing it more and more (on his own terms of course) He asks me how to spell things all the time and I've started keeping a little notebook with words he asks about so he can reference it when he needs it. I find it strangely interesting that he can read pretty much anything, but asks how things are spelled. (If I make him slow down and sound it out, he can do it himself and then can recognize the word once it's spelled correctly… but usually can't just flat out spell a word on his own… even an easy one like "cat")  Seriously, isn't that weird and interesting? You would think with the reading would come the spelling; but obviously they are two completely different processes for him. 

We just a ton of snow dumped on us last night. The big boys and I went out sledding in the early evening. They had SO much fun. It was nice that Tom was home so Jonathan could stay inside because he's kind of high maintenance in the snow most of the time and doesn't last very long. LOL. 

Now that we have had one really good snow, I am anxious for spring to come. I'm ready for warmth and sunshine. I've been pretty tolerant of winter thus far, even though it's my least favorite season… but yeah, it's time for something new. ;)

Preschool Conference….

My (probably) last ever preschool conference was this morning. Not much to report. I was happy to learn that Jonathan's defiant streak is saved for home… that was my biggest concern.  He is doing well and doing everything he is supposed to be doing. His teacher said she almost always recommends holding kids with birthdays as late as Jonathan's, but in this case, she can't see any reason why he shouldn't go on to kindergarten next year. To be honest, we're still undecided, but leaning that way and it helps that two of the people whose opinion on that topic matter the most (his preschool teacher and his early intervention teacher) think it's the best move.  I may hold a spot in the older 4s class at the preschool for him just in case we get to August and feel differently.  Options are always nice.

He does hate to sit and try to write, (although his teacher gets more out of him than I do!) which I'm keeping an eye on. But Ben was the same way and once he started kindergarten, he turned the corner on this. Since we have Simon also who hated writing in preschool but who didn't really pick it up in kindergarten easily, it's just something to watch. We have OT already in place though should he end up needing it. My gut says he won't…. but again, options are nice!

Decisions decisions….  but what will be will be and I know we'll end up making the right call in the end.

In the meantime, enjoying the last round of preschool and loving every minute! :)

PReschool Extended Day....

We are now test-driving two days a week of preschool extended day.... and I can not lie, it is OH so nice. Jonathan loves it, I am getting SO much done, and we still have our Friday afternoons together.

I considered adding him to his regular class's afternoon since he has taken to extended day so nicely.... (his class is split... he and two others leave at 12:30, the rest stay until 3)... but I think like having the option based on how our week and I like that he gets to spend time with Miss Sally and my friend Beth, who run it on Mondays and Wednesdays, respectively.

Yesterday, I even came home with this cutie wootie photo that they took to use to make a Christmas ornament!  ;)

Updates...

Fifth grade Take Two is going well. Ben loves every aspect of it. His list why gets longer by the day! He says the classes are all more interesting, and they do all kinds of in-class projects and hands-on experiments. Lots of opportunities for moving around. There is more freedom.... he especially likes that on the rainy days when they have to have indoor recess, they can choose what they want to do -- whether they want to play board games in their classroom, go over to the other fifth grade room and do something different or even go to the gym and play! (he chose the gym last week) ;)

So far everyone seems nice. There are a couple boys he talks about more than others and says he sits with the same group at lunch every day. :)

The most amazing thing to me, is that his attitude about school changed almost overnight. He brought home some graded classroom last week and the difference in his effort, neatness, etc was night and day.   It's something I had hoped would happen but did not expect to see so quickly.

There are little things I love about it.... like that the daily homework is on the fifth grade website, along with any papers that are needed. Spelling words are there, vocabulary words, test information.... everything.  There was a slip that needed to be signed about an upcoming science test, the document was linked on the website.... Ben didn't have to remember to bring it home.  The website/homework thing is SUCH an easy, simple thing to do.... and makes a world of difference for a kid like Ben.

Anyway, so we are off to a good start there. :)

Simon.... Simon is doing well! He just finished up his second round of cello lessons through school and starts a new one next week. (they go by quarter) He made progress despite me being truly AWFUL about making him practice. Yesterday, he spent part of the day picking out all of his cello songs on the piano.  He has an ear for music, for sure.... I did discover that the instrumental music teacher has not actually been teaching them to read music.  Now, I KNOW Simon could pick this up reading music quickly....  that's the kind of thing he's really good at!  So over Christmas break, my plan is start working on this with him because I think once he can read the notes on the page, he'll really take off.  I got the level 1 piano book I used when I was a little kid and thought we'd just start it and see how it goes.

Schoolwise, he is doing well. We have an IEP team meeting coming up Wednesday and I don't think there is a whole lot that needs to be said. He has hit a groove this year. :)

He and Jonathan have become the best of friends. They play together constantly. This drives Ben insane. He feels like he has no one here at home to play with because the two of them have their dress-up/pretend games they play all the time and Ben wants someone to play sports with. I need to do better about inviting kids from school over. I say this all the time but life is just so busy.... and time keeps getting away from us. :(

Jonathan is loving his standing extended day at preschool! I may even add a second one after Christmas. We just dropped his group that he was doing through the county in favor of the teacher coming to his regular preschool more often to work with him. He had lost all of his same-age peers there to preschool placements and was left with two young 3s who didn't speak much English and another who was more like him but socially where he was a year and a half ago. The teacher's supervisor came to observe the group and thought Jonathan was the "typical" peer placed there to be a model for the other kids.  We enjoyed going, but the teacher and I agreed he wasn't getting much out of it at this point and the time would be better spent at preschool and maybe doing another activity on Tuesdays and Thursdays in its place.... so I'm looking into swim lessons or gymnastics.... library storytimes.... that sort of thing.  He just needs to spend as much time as possible with socially typical peers. He's doing SO well.... and things are a hundred times better than they were last year, but the more social stuff he gets now, the better.

I didn't do a post about Thanksgiving.... but we hosted it here and it was good. I feel more comfortable with that now and it's actually almost easier to just have it here. My sister-in-law and I do it as a team and it just works. The kids had a blast, we hardly saw them all day. The food was great and we all survived. ;)

So that's about it for now! I have a goal to do a post a day this week... hold me to it! :)

Update!

Yikes.... did I really let almost a month go by? Stupid Facebook.... still eating my blog.

First? The biggest news! Jonathan is officially, finally, mercifully, potty trained! Still in Pullups at night, but otherwise? GOOD TO GO! Never thought I'd see the day.

We went to the pumpkin farm with his preschool class yesterday. It was the the same one (though relocated about 15 minutes further away... ) that Simon went to when he was four where we got to pick a bunch of vegetables to bring home. Jonathan was basically done with this after the first turnip.... so we spent a lot of time in the hay wagon waiting for the rest of the class. In his defense, it was super hot out in the middle of that field and also because it had rained HARD the night before, crazy muddy.

We bailed when the hay wagon dumped us back out at the picnic area. He was just done. And so was I. I was SO exhausted when we got home!

Last weekend, we went to the Renn Fest with the boys. They LOVED it. We stayed way longer than Tom thought we'd last.... we watched three shows and an archery demonstration, ate lunch and the boys bought some wooden swords. Ben wants to go back next year and dress up. How fun is that? :)

The boys' swingset came a couple of weeks ago! They love it! We still need to call and get some sand delivered for the sandbox. 

Simon has made the most wonderful new little friend who we brought home for a playdate last Friday. He's adorable and fits right in at our house. Then we went to their house after school yesterday for a playdate. He's a lot like my boys (more like Ben than Simon, probably.... but loves to play the computer stuff and doesn't play sports, which is more like Simon)  He gets along well with both Ben AND Simon, which is awesome! He lives really close to our house too, so I foresee lots of playdates in the future. Love it!

Simon is doing really well in school.... haven't heard a word from the teacher and no news is generally good news! Turns out, he's a pretty great little speller and, even though they are only required to spell the first ten words, he has been taking it on himself to do the ten challenge words on the tests and doing a great job! I'm really proud of him! He's very happy this year too and wanting to do well... he has confidence he hasn't had before. I love that! 

Ben is doing okay.... hanging in there with decent grades. Happy. I'm not so thrilled with fifth grade in general though. It's pretty disappointing after a great year last year. No high expectations.... lack of structure.... I don't know this is true, but the feeling I get as a parent is there is kind of apathy from the fifth grade teachers. I'd like for that to be wrong.... but I have yet to be convinced. To be completely honest, I am sort of wishing we had pulled him and put him somewhere else for this year.  :( 

Jonathan is loving school these days. Skips in smiling and always super happy when I pick him up. I am THRILLED for such a great year! He's doing well and now that we're good on the potty training front, I'm leaning more and more lately toward sending him to kindergarten next year as opposed to holding him a year. 

Not much else going on.... doing the annual pumpkin farm visit with all three boys this weekend! :) So I'll have a new post up sooner than later. ;) 

All's Well...

Jonathan had a great second day of school yesterday. Walked in like he was leading a parade. Waved to people, said hello.... went right into the classroom. Told me when I picked him up that he had fun! YAY!

Had a conference with Simon's teacher already.... seems things are going okay! She said he's getting his papers where they need to be (huge, HUGE issue last year). She wanted to know more about what he struggled with last year and how to draw him out a little. (he doesn't often speak to teachers unless spoken to) She did say he is raising his hand now and participating, so that's good. He's also starting and finishing classwork without prompting.  I really, really like her.... her classroom structure and the way she naturally goes about keeping the kids on task and prompting with visual cues is really helpful for him. I'm optimistic about continuing to make lots of forward strides with him and school this year!

Ben is doing well... though I continue to be sort of unimpressed by 5th grade. He didn't even have any homework last night.... or much at all on any other night. Apparently there was a sub in math, which explained that one.... but he rarely has any other homework other than math. Really? Middle school is going to be a jarring experience for him if the demands don't pick up a little here....  They've implemented this online grading system, so I can check in on his grades a couple times a week. I like it and it's really helpful to keep tabs on quizzes and things. Simon has this too, but it really makes no sense for the grades below fourth. So the teachers aren't even sure what they are going to do with it for the little guys.

Waiting on Jonathan's glasses to come in. He keeps asking about them. LOL.

OH! We are also waiting on a swingset to be delivered for the backyard! We hemmed and hawed about this for a few years, but finally caved. The boys helped customize it... Simon asked for a "pirate bridge" (like the ramp thing with ropes on the side), so we added that... and Ben wanted three swings,  so we swapped out a trapeze swing for a third swing. He also wanted monkey bars, so we made sure the model we picked had those. Jonathan is excited about the slide. :)

Other than that, no news around here.... just trying to get my life organized lately!

First Day!

Dropoff did not go wonderfully well, but apparently he got over it quickly. I enjoyed my quiet morning in the school library immensely. OH how I have missed my routine!

Things didn't tank until we went IN though... so outside, he was pretty happy!  Ignore the silly faces... he was running around making exploding noises. Just caught him in the middle. ;)

Here he is with his buddy, LIllian. They aren't in the same class for the first time ever. They'll still see each other on the playground though. :)

Pickup was great. He had a great day and had lots to say. The teacher (a sub.... his real teacher had to attend a funeral today... but thankfully, the sub was familiar and well-liked) said her whole class did great and you never would have known it was the first day!

Preschool Visit Day!

Today was peek at your seat for preschool. Jonathan was less than enthused. My expectations were low.... but he actually did great! Posed for a picture on the steps....

He went right into his classroom and said hello to his teacher and, to my surprise, pleasantly answered a few questions about his summer.  About 30 minutes in, I left the room to go out to the parents' meeting and he didn't bat an eye.

I have high hopes for a non-dramatic first day!

I had prepared his teacher for the worst.... but maybe he'll surprise us all! :) We'll see! Monday is the big day!

Last Day of 3s....

My last kiddo had his LAST day of 3s preschool this past Friday and it was his teacher's LAST day of teaching since she is retiring. Lots of lasts!  :(

Mother's Day Tea....

Friday was my third and final Mother's Day Tea at Chestnut Grove....


So sweet. The kids sang some little songs. (I have video I have to get off my phone at some point) Then we went downstairs for the tea. Adorable and tear-inducing as usual. :)

Jonathan with his oh-so-patient teacher, Mrs. Poe. 

Singing songs with his class.....

Easter Bonnet Parade....

Third time around for the Easter Bonnet parade. Actually, might be only the second.... because I think I remember Simon was sick for his. He was ALWAYS sick when he was three. He even missed the last day of school that year.

Anyway, we threw together an Easter hat at the last minute last night. I actually assumed Jonathan wouldn't even wear it. He wanted nothing to do with it last night. But he surprised me and wore it for the duration of the little parade.

TOO cute. :)

In Limbo....

When I went to pick up Jonathan from preschool this afternoon, his teacher told me he had been a little "off" all day... low-energy, easily frustrated. She said two kids in the class were out sick. One has a stomach bug, the other has a cold/fever thing. She wondered if maybe he was getting sick too. GAHHHHH... I hope not.

I brought him home and he honestly seems completely fine. I took his temperature. We snuggled and watched Super Why, which is what we usually do right after school so he can kind of decompress a little. He said he was hungry and asked for noodles, which he wolfed down in no time flat.

I guess if I had to choose, I'd go with the cough/fever bug. But who knows what, if anything it will turn into. Hoping he was just having an off day for no reason whatsoever. LOL.

Oddly, I was also in Simon's library class today and he seemed SUPER spacey, quiet, and out of it. I asked him if he was feeling okay and he said he was. I hope he's not like that all the time at school.... this was actually the first time I have actually seen him in a class. It was a little disturbing, to be honest!
They had a sub for library and I'm hoping that just threw him off or something.... he's always pretty shy/anxious/quiet in new situations or with new people... so maybe that was it.

I asked his teacher at pickup how he was today and she volunteered that he was, in fact, a little quiet and isn't always like that. She added that the kids in her class are dropping like flies from both the stomach bug and the cough/fever thing.

Sigh. He seemed okay when I picked HIM up too....

Ah well.... all I can do it wait and see!

Oh, in other news, Jonathan's teacher did tell me that he read "Goodnight Moon" to his class today and they all high-fived him. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that. So sweet. :)

Update....

In the time since my last post --
In no particular order...

There was an ice storm. We didn't lose power, thankfully. Still, ice is awful.

Simon had a med check at the pediatrician, which is essentially an extra well-visit. So for record-keeping purposes -- he was 54 pounds and 48-1/2 inches. He is starting to grow taller, but not heavier... he looks like he has been stretched out!

Report cards came home.... Ben's was stellar, Simon's was kind of worthless and didn't communicate a whole lot (except for the comments, which were helpful, detailed and very good!), which is why I was glad I had a conference with his teacher, at her request. She reports he is doing SO well these days. She had samples of his work all laid out for me to see and it's really amazing how far he has come. He gets pulled for tests so he can take them with minimal distractions and she says he LOVES this. Two of his good friends go too and apparently they are the envy of their classmates. She says he is a great reader and has very high-level comprehension. (?!) She also said is amazed by the ways in which he goes about solving math problems. Now, if we could only get his desk organized and get him to  stay consistent with getting right to work in class. LOL.  VERY positive conference though! Proud of him!

This is one of his recent papers. The teacher was so excited about it, she brought me a copy after school one day while I was waiting to get the boys. I love that his teacher is as proud of him as I am. :)

I came down with what started out as a chest cold type thing and turned into what I'm fairly sure was the downsized, flu-shot version of the flu. Oddly, no one else got it.  I was okay a couple days later, but am still ultra-tired and this was over a week ago!

Tom left town for a meeting in Florida. No surprise that he got snowed in there... or rather, snowed OUT of here.

It was just the kids and me Wednesday, Thursday and half of Friday. The day he came home, I went to bed at 6p.m.

We have had a lot of fun with this last snow... it was excellent sledding snow and the boys have been in and out. Only positive I have found so far.

I found this one in the side yard saying, "Mommy! The snow won't let me go!!!" It was over a foot and he had a hard time walking. Over the course of a few days, we carved out a path for him to walk to the sledding hill and back.  LOL!

Ben had a meds check/well visit at the pediatrician two days after Simon. He is 49 inches tall and weighs 49-1/2 pounds. Like Simon, he also grew heightwise but not weightwise. Unlike Simon, he did not have pounds to spare, so he got a lecture about how he needs to eat lots of healthy snacks and indulge in some milkshakes here and there. Enviable problem to have....

The boys had a sleepover at Grandmom and Poppy's house last night. Frozen theme. They watched the movie (a screener my dad got from somewhere) and had all kinds of ice-themed treats! Well done, as usual Grandmom and Aunt Deb. The kids get so spoiled over there!!! Tom and I went out for sushi for a belated Valentine's date and then went back and got Jonathan, who is not quite ready to spend the night... or rather... grandmom is not quite ready for Jonathan to spend the night. HA! (and neither is mommy... )

Ben has been keeping busy with basketball. His team hasn't won a single game this year though they play well. There are some major issues with the draft system the rec council uses and the way the teams are formed... it's annoying and kind of a bummer for these kids who play SO hard.  They seem to be having fun anyway but I do wish they could win a game.

Both older boys are still swimming on Saturdays. Simon hasn't made a whole lot of progress with this new teacher, though Ben seems to excel with her. We're going to make a change in March and put Simon with a different teacher and hopefully Jonathan too. He won't even get in the water with the new teacher unless I get in too. I am really looking forward to the end of May when the pool opens and June when swim team starts. It can't come soon enough!!! There's a chance we actually participate in two swim teams this year.... not sure if that will work, but we'll see. Hoping Simon will participate this year!

Jonathan...  that kid is TOUGH lately. Lots of meltdowns and challenging behavior. We've taken a hard line with it and thus, he spends a lot of time in timeouts lately. I think maybe we're getting through to him though... we have won a couple really tough battles in the last two days. One step at a time....

Oh and he also has taken to randomly removing his pants lately... so that's fun. 

He does like his new playgroup "school". Hasn't had much of regular preschool lately thanks to snow and ice. No school tomorrow because of the holiday... maybe Wednesday will be the start of some real routine? Maybe?

OH and the boys finally met their new baby boy cousin this morning.  (He's about two weeks old now) Jonathan didn't care at all, Simon wasn't quite sure how to react, but Ben was ALL over it. He even held Baby W. So sweet....

I think that's all the updates I have for now... I'll add some photos to this post later! :)

What I Wish More People Understood....

We started a long and very educational journey through early intervention a couple of years ago with Jonathan was 16 months old and not really talking or making sounds. It turned out to not be quite as straight forward as late speech and, long story short, for those who don't know, we participated in a study at the Kennedy Krieger Institute over the summer and he tested on the the autism spectrum, which, at that point in the journey, was not a huge surprise.

Now, since then, we've gone back and forth with our Infants and Toddlers team on how accurate that was, because it was only a study and he wasn't all that cooperative for some of it. But, I think what what we've concluded is that he definitely has some atypical behavior and social development and, most likely would test on and off the spectrum depending on the day and who was administering the test. So basically, he straddles the border.

Mostly, I really haven't worried a whole lot about this. First off, a lot of the atypical things are issues we had dealt with before with Ben, (who was never diagnosed with ASD, but looking back, I'm pretty sure he might have been if we had had him tested when he was Jonathan's age... at the very least he is SUPER quirky...LOL)  So it's not much new for us and we have living proof that some things can be learned or grown out of. Plus, we have SO much support with Jonathan that we did not have with Ben in the form of various county services.

Lately though, things have gotten a little more complicated.

Jonathan is his own person, of course....  and ASD is unique in each and every case. There is a phrase that circulates among the autism community that says, "If you have seen one child with autism, you have seen one child with autism."

Ben was challenging in his own ways with tons of perseveration, sensory issues and eating problems.  Social weaknesses, unnoticed before,  surfaced around second grade.  Although Jonathan's issues also include the perseveration on topics of interest, he has a lot more issues with very poor (and seemingly irrational) social reactions in certain situations. There are very specific ways you have to word things and deal with him or things spiral out of control quickly.

School has become a HUGE issue. HUGE. Enormous. Elephant-sized, even.

His behavior lately has been just hugely difficult and embarrassing.  I never thought I'd have the child who hits other kids (for reasons that almost always have to do with his perseveration du jour and the very black and white way he sees the world) and throws toys. I've dealt with separation anxiety freak outs plenty, but his take it to a whole new level. He becomes angry and violent. His teacher told me Friday that he threw toys and pushed chairs and hit her. Eventually he calms down, but in those moments during the meltdown, it's really REALLY awful.  She was pretty nonplussed by it... but I felt awful.

I also can't get him potty-trained, for reasons I can't really quite figure out, but they tell me it's normal and to relax. So I have backed off.

Everywhere I turn people who don't get it at all have unsolicited advice for how to deal with his behavior and my answer is, "You just don't understand.... what works for a typical child will not necessarily work with him." We are still figuring out how to manage him... but suffice to say, traditional methods have failed almost 100% of the time.

It's hard for most people to understand because he is NOT what most people think of when they think about autism spectrum disorder. I am discovering that the vast majority of people (even our pediatrician) do NOT really grasp what it means to be on the very high-functioning end of the spectrum. It looks "normal" in most respects.... and when it does come into play, he often just looks like an undisciplined brat of a child or that I haven't been teaching him simple manners like saying hello back to people. I promise you, he is challenging and defiant at times, but he isn't a brat and we are SO consistent with him and work very hard to teach him the appropriate social behavior that does not come naturally for him.  If you could see him at his best... one-on-one... he is the sweetest, most affectionate, smart, funny little kid.

School is working SO hard with him and I give them all the credit in the world. They are incredibly good to us.  I know they think I'm making more of his issues than I should though... that I worry too much. I just want to fix/improve as much as I can before kindergarten. I also want to spare him at least some of the social issues Ben dealt with. The early intervention teachers keep assuring me it really WORKS-- that he CAN be taught these things... how to make eye contact, how to understand how people are feeling, how to respond appropriately, how to have a conversation, what a friend is.... that other kids are even worth his time and effort. It all just needs to be practiced and taught over and over and over again.

I don't even know where I'm going with this except to say that Jonathan has taught me not to be so quick judge a child or the parents of a child who is behaving inappropriately. Heck, I used to even think, "You can't get your child potty trained by three? You MUST be doing something wrong..."  Yeah... he has taught me a WHOLE lot, and for that I am grateful.

I wish more people knew more about what high-functioning ASD looks like or means.... mostly because there are a LOT of quirky kids out there... it's not always full-on ASD, but yeah, quirky is everywhere. I feel like I do a lot of making excuses for Jonathan or explaining him to people and it's exhausting and frustrating sometimes. I feel like people either feel sorry for us (please don't... I wouldn't change my kids at all... quirky is AWESOME...  and this difference has a ton of positives too!! I mean, he can READ anything and everything and that's pretty cool, right?)  or think we're nuts for thinking there is something atypical about him.... that if they had a few days with him, they could whip him into shape. (believe me, I would love to see you try!!!)

He is starting a little county preschool group next week in the afternoons. I'm really excited about it because it's taught by someone who works with kids just like him ALL the time and totally gets it. I won't have to explain anything or convince anyone of anything or make any excuses for what he says or does. The sole purpose of the group is facilitate social interactions and play between kids for whom it doesn't necessarily  come naturally... so I feel like for an hour and a half a week, I can sit and breathe and just watch him grow and learn.

I KNOW ultimately he will be fine... he will grow out of some of the really hard stuff....  I AM bracing myself for a couple visits to the principal's office when he hits elementary school because well, I'm trying to be honest with myself about his strong will. LOL.  But he WILL be fine. Just need to get through the next year or two and it's not going to be easy.... somedays, I really feel like it's just getting started.

Preschool Pageant #5....

Friday was the annual preschool Christmas pageant. We had a year off last year because the 2s don't participate, but this year, it was back to the fun. Jonathan chose to be a star early on in the preparation stage and stuck with it even though I kept telling him he should be Joseph. (Joseph and Mary get the most stage-time and photo opportunities for parent paparazzi.) ;)   We've never had a Joseph in our family.... we've had an angel, another star and a couple kings, if I remember correctly.  ;)

As the kids filed in, I heard a familiar crying sound. I stood up and could see J was hysterical in the back. I knew it would be hit or miss but I had heard he'd been really into it during the rehearsals, so I was hopeful. I was actually just about to go back and get him when he stopped.  He ended up filing in with the other stars and standing next to another crying classmate. He didn't really participate, but he stood there with his teacher and didn't cry, so that's something. LOL!

It was short and sweet, as usual. Got some cute pics and went down to the classroom for the little party. Jonathan was thrilled to be sprung from school early, of course!

On stage

My little star. :) 

This was afterward and he just wanted to get the heck off the stage... LOL!

Sweet little class.....

Having some ice cream for breakfast! 

I was so looking forward to this little Christmas gift I knew was coming! :) Ben made one when he was three and I bring it out every Christmas. 

Jonathan and Mrs. P

Minion....

Compare?

And parading at school this morning....