Awesome. :)

I got an email from Ben's reading teacher while I was sitting in the pickup line waiting for him this afternoon. It said:

"Check out Ben's writing activity that I sent home today! 10 out of 10!!!"

I replied that the suspense was killing me. She wrote back:

"Let me know if it gets lost on the way home, I made a copy of it!"

Of course, we got to the car and he had left his folder in his desk. So I shooed him back inside to get it. He was NOT happy with me, but he went anyway. And when he returned, I pulled out the assignment, which he had done twice. The second one had a giant shiny sticker and an 10/10 with a nice note from Mrs. K. on it.

In the meantime, she sent me another email:

"I was happy he redid it correctly and with enthusiasm! He even said that he knew he didn't follow directions!"

The topic had to do with the book they are reading in class. But the important part was that he had followed all the directions and done the assignment completely and really, really well.

I am so proud. Fourth quarter, but better late than never, right?

Later, she emailed to tell me that his work has been really consistently complete and well-done basically since they came back from spring break.  That timing is no coincidence and maybe I'll get into the "why" part of that someday on here... but for now, I'll say it validates some things we've been working on on our end.

Anyway, so yeah... the only Bs on his report card this past quarter were in reading and written language. So maybe he can make straight As for the fourth quarter! That would be so awesome and such a great end to a really fantastic year all-around.

I also love that this teacher took the time to email me. I sometimes get down because I feel like these teachers are SO busy and have so many kids to worry about that Ben's troubles are a little trivial in comparison to a lot of what they deal with.  So it means a lot that she took a minute to rave about something he did and that she really really seemed proud of him too.

Realllllllly rooting for her to maybe switch grades and be his teacher next year too. Maybe? I hope? I like to latch onto the good ones and keep them around! ;)

To Nap or Not to Nap...Napping Math and the Downside of Speech Days...

Here's what I mean when I say that, although I love Jonathan's speech afternoons with Miss Cindy, they have not always been so easy to fit into our days....

So today is Monday and therefore, speech day, as it has been more or less every Monday for the last dozen or so months.  Way back when we first started all this, Jonathan was taking his one and only nap at 10:30, which was odd for a 17-month-old... but it turned out to be a good thing because most parents want morning times for speech. His oddball nap schedule got us in way sooner than we would have gotten in otherwise. (at least that's what they told me). He kept that up for good three months or so after we started, so it worked well.

When he started wanting to nap a little later, I'd try to put him down by 11 or 11:30 on speech days, to have him up and put back together in time for our 1:30 appointment.  A little more challenging, but do'able.

Now, he naps at a much more conventional toddler time on a normal day... 1:30 or 2.

You can see where my dilemma comes in.

Now, if the big boys didn't have school, keeping him up until 2:15 until speech is over would be no problem because he could nap from then until whenever. But on school days, I have to leave here to get them at 3:25-3:30 or so, if I put J down at 2:15, even if he falls asleep IMMEDIATELY, I inevitably have to wake him up and that is SOOO NOT fun.

My other option is to try to nap him early, which is a crapshoot these days because he really doesn't usually get tired until at least 1.

Today I opted for early, ran him ragged this morning and he went down at 12, which ideally will give him an hour and 20 minutes of happy napping. I'm sure I'll have to wake him up at 1:20 and it will be as unfun as it is in the afternoon, but today, I think it was the better option.

So yeah,  speech is awesome. The timing? Not so awesome!!  Honestly? Sort of rooting for him to give up the nap soonish.. I know that's insane, but it will make life easier and I think I can still convince him to have "quiet time". I have been a slave to naps for like nine years on and off now and I'm kind of over it!

Weekend...

Busy weekend!

Saturday morning, all the boys had swimming, as usual.  Their teacher has started taking Ben in the big pool the last few weeks and he is none too pleased about it. Part of it is that it's much colder than the therapy pool, where he has done all of his lessons up until this point. But the other part is purely Ben being Ben. It's only 3-1/2 feet deep in the lane they use, but he's convinced he can't touch the bottom. The logic of, "Well, even if you couldn't touch, you can SWIM now." or "The pool you've been swimming in is 5 feet deep in parts and you've been okay with that!", not to mention, "You are four feet tall, the water is not." is all lost on my otherwise very logical, analytical child.  I don't really have a leg to stand on since, although not pool-related, my fears as a kid were equally irrational. (still are?)

We ignore it though, knowing he'll come around eventually. I don't even get involved, I just give him his goggles, remind him he's NINE, and send him off with the teacher. I know he cries some, but I also know he does eventually swim when he's over there.

(I will say I can tell he does secretly like the fact that being taken over to the big pool by himself means he has surpassed Simon's level.)

Simon is coming along well too! He did panic after jumping a few weeks ago and suddenly forgot he could swim. It shook him a little, but he got back on the horse.  He's also doing much better with his back float, which freaked him out for awhile.

I do think both Ben and Simon, though their skills are vastly beyond where they were last summer, will still hang out in the shallow end of the pool again this year and actually, given that their confidence level is still not all that wonderful, that's a-okay with me. I'll force them over to the deep end when I have Tom there to help me child wrangle. Otherwise, they can stay where they feel comfortable.

Jonathan, this week, started full-on swimming underwater to Tara and to the steps!! He goes further and further every week. I can't get over it! Weirdest and coolest thing ever to see in action.  He may give me grey hair with his fearlessness sometimes, but it's SO different than Ben and Simon in (and me) that it just continually fascinates and surprises me what he can do and wants to do and isn't intimidated by at his age that I never would have even considered for Ben or Simon.  I'm glad I don't have THREE Jonathans though... one is plenty.

In other news this weekend, Ben had a sleepover at grandmom and poppy's. The rest of us got sushi and Tutti Frutti. :)

We also finished our garden box (sans dirt... maybe next weekend) and Ben went to another rock-climbing party where he mastered going to the top of the wall.  :) I posted the video yesterday... so proud of that kid!

I'm proud of Simon too because is working REALLY, really hard on his reading lately!! He got a new Star Wars early reader book at the bookstore yesterday and read us a bunch of pages from it last night.  He is making great strides in that department and is doing a much better job with sight words these days too. He remembers almost all of them now! He and I have definitely put in some serious time on the reading front lately  and will continue all summer. :)  He's my project. It has been a different experience from Ben learning to read. They went about it in totally different ways and on different timetables. Kids are a constant learning experience, aren't they?

And today is Monday... ahhh... my favorite. :) Quiet. Routine. Put things back in order. Happy day!

Ben went all the way to the top of the wall at Earth Treks today! Three times! I'm so proud of him. Two years ago, or maybe even a year ago, he NEVER would have even attempted it. I'll bet I wouldn't even have been able to get him into the harness. He's come a long way with his confidence! :)

Playdate...

So Ben's playdate yesterday went SO well. I really,  really like his little friend, though I will admit I had my doubts that I would for a few reasons. (even though the couple times I had met him at school and at Ben's birthday, he seemed like a good kid)

He is really a NICE kid, at least that's what I saw...  and, probably best of all, he was kind and patient with Simon. He has two younger brothers, one in 2nd grade and one in Kindergarten, so I guess he's used to annoying little brothers butting in.  It really made an impression on me. And because HE was nice to SImon, Ben was also nice to Simon and all went really, really well. 

I listened in on some of their conversations when they would pass through the living room and it wasn't just Ben talking AT the other kid, which happens a lot. There was back and forth and the other little boy seemed genuinely interested in the conversation.  Whew. (Ben's a tough playmate sometimes, honestly)

They played in Ben's room and the playroom for awhile, played a little Minecraft with Simon and then played baseball outside for an hour with Tom after dinner. Then Tom and Ben took him home. 

This little friendship could work, I think... :o)

Graff Boy Band...

Jonathan has moved on from Girls Just Wanna Have Fun to You Don't Know You're Beautiful.

Simon got in on the action...

Jonathan is 32 Months Old Today!

Dear Jonathan,

Today you are 32 months old. Apparently last month, I ALSO thought you were 32 months old. Oops. My bad. Hazard of being a third child.

So this month... let's see. Well, you are still pleasant, so hoping that continues. I'm sure there is another meltdown-prone phase coming up at some point, so I'll enjoy this pleasant time while it lasts.

You are still our little helper. Your big job these days is helping daddy get the coffee ready in the evening. Daddy says it's time to make the coffee and you use every ounce of strength you have in your little arms and legs to drag a kitchen chair all the way over to the coffee pot. Then you help by pushing all the buttons to grind up the beans and set the timer for the next morning.   In the morning, you'll proudly tell me "Mommy, I made your coffee!" when I'm sipping on my first cup.

You love to dance and would spend all day dancing to YouTube videos of your favorite Just Dance songs if I let you. I actually did kind of let you do this the other day and I was treated to 52 renditions of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. You have moves like nobody's business and it's HILARIOUS to watch.

You have developed an annoying habit that your brothers never did and that is running away. You will take off and the more I yell "Stop!" the harder you laugh and the faster you run. The people who work in the office at school giggle as I run by in a blur several times on school days trying to catch you before you run out the door. You have also taken to leaving the house in a similar fashion. One minute, you are in the living room, the next minute, I hear the door to the mud room slam and you are out in the driveway. Shoes? No shoes? Jacket? Pants? No Pants? Doesn't matter... You don't care... you keep me on my toes these days for sure.

You love everything your brothers love and that includes Star Wars and Minecraft. You think your brothers' antics are a riot and they play with you better than I ever could. They make you laugh and laugh. Sometimes they also make you cry... usually when they take back things you've stolen from their rooms.

You are doing a great job in swimming lessons and I'm hoping by the end of the summer, you will really be swimming. It's an amazing advantage to you to have no fear. Not so much an advantage to me though!  I sprout a new grey hair every day, I'm sure.

You have taken to letting me rock you to sleep for your naps now (which are you still taking, thank goodness!!). I love this because this is really the first time in your entire short life you have ever let me hold you while you fall asleep. Even when you were a tiny baby, you wanted nothing to do with this and wouldn't sleep unless I put you down in your crib or carseat. I'm savoring every minute while it lasts...

My sweet little last born. You are my little buddy and snugglebug. I love your hugs and your kisses and  your adorable voice. I love everything about you! You got to this age way too quickly, but I have to admit, it's one of my favorites and so much fun.

Happy 32 months (again)!

Love,
Mommy :)

Complicated!

Ben has this sudden interest in having a social life and seeing friends all the time outside of school.
I'm excited about this because it's kind of a first. And he has made this friend who seems to like Ben as much as Ben likes him... which is a rare find, honestly.

I really want and NEED to encourage this because Ben needs this a LOT... like really, really REALLY needs this.

There are multiple issues in play here though, the biggest of which is, what the heck do I do with Simon? When I so much as mentioned to Ben that maybe we could bring his friend home from school with us tomorrow, Simon immediately burst into tears. "What about me? What will I do? I won't have anyone to play with."

I asked Ben if he would mind if Simon played with them if this playdate happened and he was okay with it. (though I wouldn't make him do this every time, of course) Simon wasn't into it though and just cried and cried.

Sigh. Simon actually has really clicked with one little boy in his class lately, but he doesn't have the kind of mom who is just going to let me bring her kid home from school with me. It will have to be a mom/kids playdate and that doesn't really work for a Friday evening.

Argh.

So complicated. I feel like Ben is having to sacrifice because I don't know what to do with Simon. It stinks. I should be able to say, "Yes! We'll bring your buddy home for a few hours! Absolutely!" But it's just not that simple. I SO wish it were that simple, for Ben's sake.

Multiple kids... especially close in age ones who are the same gender and each others' main playmate... it makes things complicated. Really really does.  What do you do?

Math. By Simon.

He did this this morning before school and came running downstairs with it. He said he wanted to take it to school to show his teacher.  I didn't say a word about the backwards or reversed numbers... just said his math was pretty awesome.

When he came home with it in his folder I asked if he had shown Mrs. B. He replied that he had.
I said, "Did she think say you did a good job?"

He said, "She told me a bunch of my numbers were backwards."

LOL.

So yes, still writing backwards. Still thinking it's a lefty/kindergarten thing. I told the teacher to just give me a heads up when and if I need to start worrying about it.  He can write forwards and read forwards... so I THINK it's nothing. I think. LOL.

Relieved...

This post is probably going to be a mess. I hardly know where to start.

So, I mentioned before that we have been working on the "transition plan" for Jonathan with our Infants and Toddlers teacher, the speech and language pathologist and the OT. Recently, we also brought in the psychologist to add to the mix.

It all sounds crazy excessive if you know Jonathan these days, though it probably wouldn't have a year ago. Anyway, now,  he's super social, he's hilariously funny, he smiles and laughs, sings and dances, and talks up a storm and he's SO smart.  I really and truly don't think the majority of people, even after spending a lot of time with him, would think even for a minute there is anything different about him.

I've even wondered myself if I'm imagining things. If it weren't for the observations of his teachers to reassure me my gut instinct is right, I'd probably have just let it go by now and resigned myself to just having another quirky smart kid.  (which is fine... that's how we breed 'em over here, apparently...) We'd transition out of Infants and Toddlers in August and move on with our lives and deal with whatever we need to as it comes up, as we've done with Ben.

Thankfully, I am very much NOT alone in my thinking, and after yesterday, even the psychologist is on board that there are some things --  behaviors, language, motor planning things that are definitely NOT typical.

At this point, NO one thinks he's autistic. So that's fantastic. (not that I thought he was, but I'm happy that's not on the table anymore... because I think for awhile it was... spoken or not)

The psychologist called this afternoon to followup after observing J at school yesterday. The short story is that she sees enough social, language and motor skills red flags that she thinks that can at least qualify him under something that I think she called --  Social Developmental Atypical something or other. (I was so happy when I realized what she was telling me that I may have tuned out some of the finer details...oops...) They are also taking Ben's history into account and my worries about Jonathan being so similar to him.  (me? worried? anxious? What?!) At any rate, the gist is that this would allow for monitoring next year... meaning the psychologist would go visit him at school once a month or so and check in with his teacher and give her strategies to work with him. This would also allow for Cindy to check in with us once a quarter or so.

I can't even begin to tell you how relieved I am that he'll be able to start school with this support in place. (nothing's at all final until his team meeting in July... but everyone seems to think this is the very least we'll get... holding out distant hope for maybe a little more but we'll take this!!)

I am thrilled and really surprised. It really seemed like a lost cause. The really great thing about this plan is that if something comes up after he's three and he needs to restart full services, we're already in the system with I&T and we just pick up where we left off.

Big giant SIGH of relief. I feel like the most enormous weight has been lifted!!!

My whole goal has been to give Jonathan what Ben didn't get because I didn't know any better back then. He will benefit (and already has benefitted) from people knowing what to watch for and knowing how to help him at a very young age.

And I am so so so grateful to those who have helped Jonathan (AND me) along the way... especially Miss Cindy, who, has worked SO hard to figure out a way to help him keep getting services.  If he doesn't qualify, it won't be for lack of effort on her part, that's for sure.

It seems like God keeps sending teachers my kids' way who are not only amazingly gifted at what they do, but LOVE what they do with their whole heart.  It's beautiful and inspiring to see this in action and it brings tears to my eyes when I think about how blessed we have been this way.

So thankful. So very, very thankful.

End of an Era....

So, without going into specifics,  I'm informing you, my dear readers, that the Tom and Erin Graff Baby Boy Emporium has officially shut down production.

...annnnnnd... I'm good with that!

Time to focus on getting Jonathan out of diapers and end THAT era too.

Actually, on that topic, my initial goal was to start in July, but now I'm thinking I might really push it and wait until we get back from Disney in mid-August under the theory that the longer I wait, the faster it will go. Also under the theory, wait no, the FACT, that taking a potty-training child to Disney World is not the most enjoyable thing ever.  It's not horrible, as I recall, but it adds an extra level of stress and urgency that I really don't need.

So... anyway since we have nothing new in development, it's onward to improving the quality of our currently existing products.  ;)

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

This is my son who throws a tennis ball up against the house for hours. He throws a billion times faster than I can. (believe me, I've tried my hardest against him). 

He catches it like a pro. 

He runs it down fields it if it gets away.

But he does NOT, under any circumstances, want to play actual little league baseball.

LOL.

Considering the time commitment  there (GAHHH I hate rec baseball), I'm really quite good with that. It's just funny and so very Ben. (and his mommy, actually... who used to spend hours flipping around the basement pretending to be in the Olympics but never actually wanted to compete in an actual gymnastics meet...)

Face. Palm.

Actual phone call last night:

Me: Hello?

Caller: Hi! It's Blah BlahBlah, from Mrs. Ben's Teachers' class?

Me: Oh hi, Blah Blah. How are you?

Caller: Um.... so like, I can't actually remember your name.

Me: It's Erin.

Caller: Oh right! Erin! I keep thinking you are a Becky.

-------Let's pause for a moment here. So this woman HAD to have looked up my number in the school directory in order to call... the number that my NAME is right next to.
But okay, whatever.-------


Caller: Anyway, so okay, so I wanted to call because we are having a birthday party at our house for Little Blah and I wanted to make sure Ben was available to come. He was at the top of Little Blah's list. Does Ben play sports or anything on Saturdays?

Me: Aww... that's so sweet. Yeah, Ben and Little Blah have really hit it off this year. He talks about Little Blah all the time. Anyway, yeah, all Ben does on Saturdays is swimming and we're home by noon.

Caller: Blah blah blah... party... blah blah... sooooo anyway, you can either drop off or stay. You're welcome to stay because, well, I mean, like I guess I should probably, like, try to get to know you, like, since Ben and Little Blah are, like, such good friends now.

(She sounds simply THRILLED about the prospect of getting to know me... this will be AWESOME. )

Me: That would be nice. Thanks. I'll see what we have going on that day. Ben can definitely make it to the party though.

Caller: Great! Okay, so like, send me your email address so I can send the evite thingie. You can just reply to the email I just sent out to the class!

(wait for it....)

Caller: Oh wait! DUH! That means I already HAVE your email address. Okay so like, we're good then. AWESOME!!!! 

(also to be noted, not only did she just send me an email THAT DAY, it's also in the directory... you know, next to my name...)

OMG. Why does Ben have to become BFFs with the one mom whose stupidity may actually cause my head to explode? (and trust me, this woman SO does not want to "get to know me", I promise...) 

On the Way Out...

Jonathan had his transition assessment from the speech pathologist yesterday afternoon... well, most of it, we ran out of time, so she has to come back in a couple weeks to finish. I think it's safe to say he will not qualify for speech services from the county anymore, which is fantastic... but also makes things hard, because we kind of want him to qualify for general infants and toddlers services for one more year, and speech would have been an easy one with which to qualify no questions asked because there isn't a whole lot of gray area.

I would have been surprised if he had even come close to qualifying because he does talk well these days... it was definitely a long shot. 

So anyway, at one point he was rolling around on the floor and flat out saying "No" when she would ask him to do things. He had clearly had enough -- the testing requires a lot of sitting and listening and we had been at it for about 40 minutes or so. Courtney (the SLP) said to me, "He's already beyond his age-level, but I have to keep going until he gets a certain number wrong." She tried some more, thinking they'd be beyond him and he got those too... mercifully, it finally ended when we got to a point where the question was something like, "Anna has been playing outside and is very thirsty. What should she say to her mother?" That was somewhere in the six-year-old range, if I was reading correctly over her shoulder. 

So apparently, my child who didn't say a word at this time last year, now speaks well beyond his age level, though his articulation, which is what she'll test next time she comes, is still very much that of a two year-old... he drops some sounds and doesn't use possessives and that sort of thing but that's all completely normal and age-appropriate and nothing that would raise any red flags.

She sort of apologized in advance for him probably not qualifying and said it's a shame because there's obviously something "different" about him and he's definitely quirky. I asked her to elaborate if she could and she said it's nothing she can put her finger on but that she sees enough typical two-year-olds that she can tell when something's off.  I was glad she said this and I told her so... I have been questioning my gut instinct about this lately and the most recent experience with the county psychologist REALLY made me question myself.

She did tell me to expect, if we ever pursued the psychological testing, it would most likely bring up some issues regarding his "attention".  I told her that was pretty much a given in our family. ;) 

Honestly, it's okay though... it's awesome that he has come so far in a year with his talking! And like I said, it's no surprise... we pretty much knew his language, which was what qualified him for services in the first place, was completely caught up. 

About an hour later, Cindy came for our regular session that had gotten moved to yesterday. She'll start her developmental assessments with the OT in a couple weeks. Yesterday she just let him play while we talked about what was going to happen.

Basically she prepared me for the probable scenario that even though she and I both know there's something up, the testing most likely won't show a 25% delay in any area, which is what he would need to continue services. And I think I'm okay with that... again, it's really a wonderful thing that whatever his issues are are so mild that testing wouldn't really pick them up. It just would be nice to have that sort of insurance policy for a little while as he starts school by himself in the fall.

If he were to have issues that the school notes next year,  I can always reapply for services through Child Find. Doubtful I would pursue that though. The whole point of wanting to stay with Infants and Toddlers is because it's familiar,  they come to our house, and because the people we've been working with know him so well and have seen all the same things I've seen. It has just been a really wonderful fit. I'd hate to start over with all new people and a whole new system. So, if more issues crop up, I'll probably just do what we did with Ben and go right to independent evaluation and deal with it that way. I also like that by going that route, we can choose what we want to share with the school and if we even want to share anything at all.

We talked about what I can do to try to avoid some of the social issues Ben has now... she reminded me that I really do have the skills help him keep succeeding. And I know this... it has just been so helpful to have support.

Anyway, so that's where we are. He really has come a long way in a year and I need to focus on that. I sort of wonder where we would be now if I had never called. I waffled back and forth on that so many times and considered quitting so many times early on because I felt like it wasn't helping. Now I wish I had called even sooner.   And I especially wish I had called when Ben was a baby! I didn't even know about it then... :(

Cindy's mantra to us has always been "I KNOW early intervention works." and I have to say, I have seen this for myself and it's absolutely true beyond a shadow of a doubt. Truly, if you have any concerns about any aspect of your child's development, or even if you just have a hunch something is off, just CALL them. It's all free and there's literally nothing to lose. Plus, if you live up near me, you'll most likely end up with Miss Cindy, the toddler whisperer!

Amazing what a difference a year makes!

Obsessed...

Jonathan is now completely and totally obsessed with Just Dance on the Wii. I keep our Wii in an extra bedroom in the basement that I lock, so I have control of how much they play. (it was getting out of hand awhile back) However, the last few days, I've been working down there, so it has been unlocked. When I realize he has disappeared from whatever we're doing upstairs, I'll wander downstairs and this is what I find.

I let him go for a good while yesterday before naptime. He was talking to himself and dancing and singing up a storm, so I figured all was good.

This absolutely cracks me up. Check out the butt wiggle!!

Crazy Eyes and Ben's 9-year Well Visit

Yesterday, at Ben's well-visit, I had all three boys with me since it was at 3:30 and I had to pick Simon up from school with Ben in order for it to work. (3:30 would not have been my first choice, but at this practice, you take what they give you because you never know when another appointment will be available....really. freaking. annoying.)

Anyway, so to set the scene. Jonathan was a tornado.  On the table, off the table, on the stool, off the stool, run headlong into the door, bounce off, laugh, lather, rinse, repeat.

Simon was in pod-child mode, as we call his cranky phases.  He's been this way for a good two weeks now. Don't know why. BUT,  he was at least quiet and content playing Minecraft on my phone while we waited.

Ben was playing it cool, just happy to be sprung from school early and to not have to get any shots in exchange. He was mostly just complaining about having to sit around in his underwear.

It was all very manageable and under control, I thought. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary for daily life at our house. Honestly, I pat myself on the back a lot for the amount of tolerance I have built up to the chaos that constantly swarms around me.

So, the doctor came in, did Ben's exam and then proceeded to try to talk to me, as he always does, over the din of my offspring. At this point, Jonathan decided to grab the phone out of Simon's hand. Simon took it back. Jonathan screamed in Simon's face.

Then, in a moment I am not proud of (and which Simon will probably discuss with a therapist someday), desperate to not have Jonathan throw a fit, I yanked the phone out of Simon's hand and handed it to Jonathan. Simon got, understandably, pretty ticked off. I shushed both of them, but Simon was in no mood to be quiet about the injustice.

Never once during any of this did the pediatrician stop talking. Apparently, this is a thing with pediatricians, I have learned. I'm pretty sure it's something they teach them in medical school.  Pediatricians don't wait for a break in the chaos, or for kids to quiet down, they just keep going and expect you to listen and respond to what they are saying. I suffer from "oh look a squirrel!" syndrome as it is, so this is crazy difficult for me, but I do my best... mostly nodding and smiling. (and then thinking, "Crap. What did he just say?")

As unideal as the situation was, what with Jonathan climbing like a capuchin monkey over and around my head and the shrieking from Simon about the cell phone, it wasn't anything I haven't dealt with before.

At that point, the pediatrician asked how I was doing,  at least, I was pretty sure that was what he asked, but I wasn't sure I heard him right over the screeching, so I said, "What? Who? Me?"

"Yes, you. How are you feeling? You know you can always talk to me if things are getting too crazy."

"Oh, Doctor B," I said, laughing, "90% of my days are this crazy! It's allllll good."

He laughed and said, "And that's a reasonable answer I'd expect from a mom of three boys. But I just want to let you know that if you ever want to talk, you can always call me and my door is always open. I don't usually prescribe Xanax to moms, but I can certainly help you figure out how to go about that if you want."

[Record scratch sound effect here]

Time out.

I was pretty sure he had just suggested I need anxiety medication.

I laughed it off. I was used to his "How are you feeling?" line of questioning and honestly thought it was standard at the end of well visits for all his moms, and actually probably standard in general because our old pediatrician did a few of these checkins right after I had Simon, asking if I felt depressed or if I had enough help and support.

Something about it got me thinking though...

It dawned on me on the ride home as I replayed the Xanax conversation in my head, that I knew enough other moms whose kids go to Dr. B that I could take an informal poll. Of course he checked on the mental status of all the moms... right? right?

Yeah. No. I'm 0 for 2 on that and I have one more mom to ask this afternoon. But I'm pretty sure our pediatrician thinks I'm one poopy diaper away from a room at the mental institution.

Is my life that insane? Does it look unmanageable from the outside? Do I seem completely nuts?

I mean, yes,  I'm overwhelmed sometimes and, if I'm being honest, I'm a little (lot) high-strung anyway... but I think I manage okay. I think? Jonathan's arrival into our family has actually chilled me out significantly. Three boys really will change your definition of chaos. I suggest it to anyone who is suffering from a bad case of Type A'ness.

Anyway... it's a funny story to tell, for sure.... but I am seriously battling the instinct to call him and ask why he thinks I might need Xanax! Did I have my crazy eyes on yesterday?! LOL! I asked around and no one else who saw me yesterday seemed to think so; but then again maybe they are just hoping to not set off the crazy mom.

As for Ben, he is healthy and wonderful and all that good stuff. Fifty pounds and 48-1/4 inches. No shots or anything, so he was thrilled!  Dr. B said he is happy with his growth (which has been a concern in the past) and that he's the slowest growing of my kids but very consistent. Ready for the percentiles? Because you have to laugh at this....  4th percentile for weight. Less than 3rd for height. LOL. Hope he has a growth spurt soon!

Monday....

I have come to really and truly LOVE Mondays. Crazy. I know. The older I get, the more difficult deviating from the daily routine becomes. And Monday means we are back on track from the wacky craziness of the weekends... ahhh.... well, at least during the school year. Summers drive me nuts with the lack of structure. It's nice for a week or so then I get all antsy and lost and unproductive. I know, I have issues...

In my defense, everything is easier when we are in our routine. The kids are easier... the house upkeep is easier... everything.

Anyway...   so it's Monday. A new quarter at school! Ben has vowed to not miss his reading goal again, and to start right away. So YAY for life lessons. I emailed his teacher just to make sure he wouldn't be the ONLY kid not invited to the ice cream party. I'm good with him not being allowed to go (happy about it, actually), but I would have felt bad if he was the only kid from his class eating lunch in the cafeteria Friday. Yikes. (would have gone to pick him up for an hour or something if that had been the case). She replied that no, there were about four others in the same boat, which surprised her because she thought they would all work extra hard to get to go to the party... but yeah... apparently my slacker, procrastinating child is in good company.

Simon seems to have turned a corner in his bad mood and happily skipped into school this morning. Hope it stays that way. He has been a beast lately.

Jonathan is still pleasant and wonderful lately. (So maybe, just maybe, I have a respite for a bit before one of the three goes psycho on me again. they rotate the crazy, which I think is actually pretty considerate of them...) I bought him a little watering can from the dollar bin at Target today and he watered all of my outside flowers "by myself!!! I do it by myself! YOU do not help me!!!" He cracks me up. We had good intentions of planting sunflower seeds down by the woods on the vacant lot in our neighborhood, but we got chased off by a mutant monster bee. Maybe tomorrow.

Nothing much else to report. Ben has a well-visit at the pediatrician's this afternoon, so I have to pick both big boys up from school. I sort of feel bad about that, because Simon will miss center time in his class, but Simon, on the other handwas pretty excited about cutting out at 2:50. LOL! So I guess it's all good.

Waterbug....

Today at swimming, Jonathan took off! He swam about three feet under water on his own! I caught it a few times on video and this was the best version. It was the only time coughed at the end, I swear!! ;)  He really wasn't drowning. She has been teaching him to swim toward the step, her, or the bar the goes around the side of the pool where there is no step, find one of those things, grab and pull himself up. Pretty cool!

Life Lesson...

Ben learned a hard life lesson today. 

So all the kids at his school do this thing called AR. They set a goal every quarter and then read books, and take these quizzes on the books to earn points toward whatever their goal is. 

He did NOT end up meeting his AR goal for this quarter in reading, despite an attempt at a hail mary by taking a quiz today on Twelfth Night, which Tom read them at bedtime last month and is wayyyy above his AR reading level.  He put off ALL his quizzes and a ton of the reading until this past weekend. He ended up not doing well enough on two of the quizzes to earn all the points he needed. 

The kids who met their goals get to go to an ice cream party next week. 

"Well, what will I get?" he asked?

"Probably nothing." I replied.

"Seriously?"

(silently cursing all the "particpation trophy" crap that has my kid thinking he gets something just for playing in every instance)

"Well what can I do?" he asked.

"Try harder next quarter and don't procrastinate until the week it's due."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Update

Been so busy this week... gah.

Anyway so:

Our handyman has been here at the house working on a list of things I've been compiling for a year. At the top was getting rid of the massive entertainment wall unit that the previous owners left here claiming it was a "built-in" (it wasn't) It was functional, but massive, and didn't really fit with our decor. Needless to say, I was thrilled to see it leave yesterday and now our tv is hanging on the wall. The room looks weirdly empty though because we need some other things on the wall and also because we don't have the console for under the tv yet. I've also lost all my toy storage and am at a loss for what to do with pile of puzzles and toys that got emptied out of the cabinets that were part of the wall unit. So... there are pros and cons to it being gone, but mostly i'm just glad it's gone.

Ben has had a good week after a rough start. They started division with remainders in math class and he didn't grasp it well the first go-round. Monday was a rough homework night that involved pencil throwing and paper crumpling. He's got it now though and is super fast. :)  So yay for that!

Simon has just had a rough week period. He's going through a bit of a moody phase... not sure why. But he's awfully surly and cranky. Today was the worst. He flipped out about going to school right before we left and I had to walk him in crying, break all the rules and walk him to the classroom, dump him with the teacher and flee. She emailed to say it took awhile, but he eventually got it together. Why was he like this today? Well, his complaints range from "There are too many people at school and I don't want to be around so many people"(?) to "We didn't get extra minutes at recess yesterday" and also, "I'm nervous about first grade." They've been talking up first grade a LOT lately in his class and I actually sort of think this may be the majority of the issue... at least the part where he doesn't want to go to school. Not sure about the general bad mood...

Jonathan is having a good week. He's the danciest, singiest, happiest little thing ever. He's also all into "helping" with everything all of a sudden. And I mean EVERYTHING. He even helps me flush the toilet. Nothing is sacred. Anyway ... he is SO much fun and I am really enjoying our days together. He is definitely going through that nap transition period where he doesn't want to go down every day but then crashes at some later and completely inconvenient time. Today he fell asleep at 2:15 in the car and then I had to wake him up at 3:15 to go get the boys at school. Not fun.

So that has been our week. I'm completely exhausted and ready for it to be the weekend! :) Loving the gorgeous summery weather though!! :)

Moves...

Mixed Feelings...

Jonathan has been with the county infants and toddlers program for a year now, plus he is coming up on his third birthday, so apparently now is the time we talk about "transitioning". I'm still sort of confused as to what this entails. I thought it was pretty straight forward, that, come his third birthday, we had the choice to either stay with in-home services or switch to school-based services (going to the elementary school for speech or whatever) if he qualified.

Apparently, it's more complex than that. I think? Maybe. I don't know. Like I said, I'm confused.

So the psychologist came out to observe yesterday while Cindy was here. I think this was my choice... I think. Again. Confused. I thought the goal of it was to try and see if we could make any kind of diagnosis. But apparently, she has input into whether he continues to qualify for any services beyond age three.

I think. Maybe?

SO very confused.

So of course, yesterday he was a model child -- literally, THE quintessential 2-1/2-year-old. He socialized he spoke in full sentences, he pretend played, he initiated play, he followed directions, he answered questions like "is that a boy or a girl" and "how many are there?".

This is great. I'm thrilled this is a different child than we started with a year ago. THRILLED and totally relieved.

The psychologist seemed very matter-of-fact though that there is no way he would qualify for anything and questioned why we continued to insist on having Cindy come out to work with him.

I wasn't at all prepared to have to go on the defensive yesterday... caught me totally off guard.

Cindy explained some of our concerns... I explained some others... in a very controlled setting he IS fantastic these days. He really has made amazing strides and is, by all appearances, a typical, bright, engaging, social almost-three-year-old.

The problem is that it's not consistent. He has a lot of ups and downs; but it's going to be hard to show that because he's always good for Cindy now. They have a routine and he thrives on routine and familiarity. He's basically always good for me now... a total pleasure the majority of the time.  BUT, I know how to navigate his ups and downs and avoid triggers that might set him off.

He's usually good at school too for all the same reasons -- routine and me being there to help him navigate.

The psychologist is, of course, going to visit school and will see only angelic, normal 2-1/2-year-old Jonathan, I'm sure.

I'm discouraged because I'm afraid he's going to fall through the cracks if there are still any issues. I'm afraid it's going to all come to light again in second grade the way it did with Ben. I'm afraid I'll figuring out weird social issues all over again when he's eight that we could have been addressing NOW.

The psychologist even sort of insinuated that I was only staying with I&T because I like having Cindy come visit. Yes, seriously... because apparently I am a completely socially-deprived stay-at-home-mom desperate for adult interaction during the day. (Newsflash: I DO actually have a life! And friends! And things to do during the day! And a to-do list a mile and a half long! This year of weekly sessions with Cindy, while productive and pleasant, has not always been easy or convenient!

She even went so far as to say, "Why don't you and Cindy just meet for coffee instead?"

I was floored.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have come to adore Cindy over the last year and watching her work with Jonathan is an absolute joy. She has come into our home once a week for an entire YEAR.. how do you not grow attached?  He loves her and it's amazing how much she has taught him and gotten through to him. So yes, I do very much enjoy her visits on Mondays; but that's not my motivation for wanting to keep it up.  The easy thing would be to transition out of the program! Believe me!

I just found her comments ridiculously insulting, cold, condescending and so rude.

Anyway... so we'll see where it goes. I'm a little stressed out over it... discouraged and confused. Are there kids who need services more than Jonathan? Absolutely! But that doesn't mean my son should lose out on something that could really change things for him for the better in the future and spare him what Ben has gone through the last couple of years...

(sigh)

Birthday #2...

Simon has decided he does not want an Earth Treks party after all, which I'm thrilled about because I was having panic attacks thinking about how I was going to corral 14 5-year-olds there since the majority of parents would probably drop off.  He's also kind of having some friend issues at school, and had planned to invite every boy in the class, which I was starting to think was maybe not such a great idea since apparently he doesn't actually like or play with some of them.

Anyway, so now I am scrambling to come up with a Plan B. He has asked for Kiddie Crusoe, but I'm pushing for a family barbecue with rented crazy huge moonbounce, which I think is really more Simon's speed these days.

So we'll see where that goes.

More later. The last few days have been crazy busy. So glad to be back in our routine again with school and whatnot. Whew!

Spring Sprung!

Yesterday, the air smelled like mulch and sunshine. I do believe that maybe, just maybe, we have finally broken through the cold and it is officially spring?

Anyway, so we spent much of the day outside.

Simon mostly likes to run around the yard in a Jedi coat with a light saber "playing Star Wars".  Ben rides his scooter up and down and all around the neighborhood circle. Jonathan flits from thing to thing.

Me? I like to draw with sidewalk chalk. It's rare that anyone ever joins me.... something about having boys... LOL.  (although Simon and Ben did eventually briefly join in an attempt to make some "3D" letters and shapes. But I had fun anyway; and Simon was quite impressed with my "bubble letters!!" as he called them.  Someday, he will realize this is LITERALLY the peak of my artistic ability. I did think the colorful Seussy letters looked neat on the blacktop in the late-afternoon sun though. :)

I took one picture, looked at it... realized I'd spelled Simon's name "S-I-M-I-N".  LOL! Oops. Not sure how that happened... managed to mostly fix it though save for a lingering gratuitous dot. ;)

Last Day of Spring Break....

I sure hope my boys are refreshed and relaxed. They should be. They basically spent all of spring break playing Minecraft and Wii. I made my peace with that. It was pretty cold outside until yesterday, and with Jonathan on my own, it's kind of hard to pull off anything crazy fun and exciting like a trip to the Science Center or even one of those bouncy places. It's just too complicated. Maybe next year we can shake things up. Three-year-olds are easier, right? (ha) Well, at least they are a little easier to take places and less prone to needing three-hour afternoon naps.

At any rate, no one seemed particular disappointed in this arrangement. 

Of course, now I have to spend the next couple of days weaning them off the electronics and back to their allotted 30 minutes a day, which I have discovered, seems to keep the screen rage away. As yes, screen rage is actually a thing... well, around here anyway. I can't figure out what it is, but anything over 30 minutes and it's like they are little drug addicts wandering around looking for their next fix, especially Simon (Ben has gotten easier about it over the past few months) But Simon... OMG...  "Can I play Minecraft?" "No."  "Whyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeee?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"  Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Every 20 minutes or so.  

Today we're spending some time with friends, thank GOODNESS. Ben has asked to see his friend Trey no less than 40 times over the last two days. 

We were supposed to have some kids and moms over from Simon's kindergarten class yesterday but one of them came down with this horrible non-stop stomach virus that's going around. Unfortunately, it was the kid who was also coming with his second grade brother, who is a friend of Ben's. The other mom suggested we just reschedule for when everyone could come and I agreed... I would have happily just had her and the other little boy over, but then I would have had to deal with Ben tormenting them the entire time and whining about how unfair it was that he didn't have a friend over. He can be relentless sometimes... 

It was a nice break from routine, but I think we'll all be happy to get back to our regularly scheduled programming on Monday! :)

B

My B. :) He got a haircut yesterday and I wanted to snap a quick pic on my cell phone.

It's so rare that I get a picture where he's not doing something goofy. I love this one!

Someone on Facebook commented that he looks like me... but I really think he's starting to look like Tom's side in lots of ways. Those eyes are ALL Tom. (his cousin Anastasia has the same color eyes too, which I think is fun) :)

Well Hello My Name is Simon....

The older Simon gets, the more interesting he gets.

I know I've said it before but it's becoming apparent he has a mind for building and engineering. He can build Legos like nobody's business and invents his own things without even following directions.  I was helping Ben put one of his ships back together yesterday that had fallen from the shelf and when I'd get stuck or disoriented with the directions and would be sitting there trying to figure it out, he would jump in and explain, "It goes like this!"

He is VERY interested in what makes mechanical things work too. The boys all got these silly ping pong ball guns in their Easter baskets and he studied and studied his until he was able to explain exactly how the trigger pulled the spring back and shot the ping pong ball out.

Oddly, (and I say this is odd because he's so creative and generally this is not true for creative types, at least in my experience) he seems to really have a grasp on math and numbers too. For instance, he'll explain all the ways different numbers make another number. In the car yesterday he went on and on about all the different ways he could make 10. "There not just 5 and 5, but also 4 and 6, and 3 and 7!" I'm not sure that's actually what he's learning in kindergarten math right now... I kind of think he just KNOWS it. ? I could be wrong about that though.  He also seems to inherently understand multiplication in much the same way Ben did at his age. "So 5 + 5 + 5 is 15...  three fives make fifteen!" It's funny to hear a kid GET that concept but not have the language to express it or really understand what they have done!

I used to think he had my brain (which is entirely right brained and virtually NO left... I picture a giant blank space where my left-brain should be, actually...  LOL) ... but clearly it's NOT mine. Or at least not entirely.

Anyway, it's interesting to watch him grow and learn and see what his interests and talents are... he's very different from Ben, so it's a totally new experience.

What will he be? I wonder all the time... sometimes it seems like he'll be some kind of entertainer or artist. Other times, I think engineer, architect... something in that type of field.  Maybe it will be a hybrid somehow... architects, after all, have to be creative and so do engineers!

At any rate... interesting to watch it all unfold...

Day of Kindness...

I'm all about random acts of kindness and I try to go through life doing them whenever and wherever I can. It's just FUN and it makes others so happy and me too! (win win!) ;)

So when Ben's teacher (we're just going to say former teacher, from now on since, sadly, she is definitely out for the rest of the year) told me what she was doing for her 40th birthday, I was SO ridiculously excited.

Her plan was to rent a limo with a bunch of friends and family and go around town doing nice things for people. They had a plan to stop at one of the hospital cancer centers and put gifts on the chemo chairs, they had gifts to drop off for a home for underprivileged girls and boys, gifts for the animal shelter, gifts for an assisted living home and a bunch of random fun things to just give out to random people on the street.

She sent out an email about this plan to everyone at school and challenged everyone to do their own act of kindness that day too.

From there, things exploded. Two local tv stations caught wind of it and decided to follow her around and do a story on it; and there was FB page that went nuts with likes and contributions from everyone saying what they had done that day.

The day just was FUN and the spirit of it all was infectious. It was a blast getting caught up in it with everyone and hearing what everyone else was doing.

As for me? Well, I did something I had meant to do at Christmas time, which was to give a giftcard and card to Kelly, our favorite Safeway cashier. There are certain people you encounter during your days who just always bring a smile to your face. I always say that there are certain people who just always let their light shine brightly and she is one of them. So I took the opportunity to tell her. :) I also bought a grocery store gift card and put it into another card and gave it to her to give to the next person who came through her line and seemed like they could use it.

She was SO excited and touched. It's amazing what such a small thing can do to brighten someone's day. And she was even more excited about the grocery card to give to someone... she said she sees people every day who could use it and has contributed to peoples' grocery bills out of her own pocket. (she said that she had never told anyone that before) :)

The other thing I did was something else I had been wanting to do for a few weeks. I gave a giftcard and card to the teacher who took over Ben's class. I kept thinking about how she had missed out on all the CAH-razy giving that happens at our school at Christmas-time, but is very much doing all the work required of a regular teacher, not just a sub. She has been SO kind and helpful to Ben.

The thing is that I really and truly depend on B's teachers to help me from their end in order for him to be successful and I was, admittedly, a little worried when the other teacher had to leave... but the transition has been seamless and she is SO great with him and doesn't seem to mind my emails (which says a lot... I email um... frequently...)  I am beyond thankful.

Anyway, so she was pretty surprised... she gave me a hug and said that Ben is actually one of her favorite students and isn't a problem at all (I had written in the card that I felt bad she missed out on Christmas treats but still had to "deal with my kiddo all day".)  I replied, "Yeah... but I know he's still work!" (and trust me, he is)   The whole interaction made ME smile too and was a great way to end the day of kindness. :)

The news stories about B's teacher aired later that afternoon and evening and we all got a kick out of watching.
http://www.abc2news.com/dpp/news/region/baltimore_county/2-good-to-be-true
http://foxbaltimore.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/baltimore-county-teacher-battling-breast-cancer-pays-forward-birthday-18664.shtml#.UVTT20KyY-J

It was just a really great day all around. :o) I wish the world were like that every day! I, for one, plan on keeping it up. If you are looking for an easy and fun pick me up, do a random act of kindness! Let someone ahead of you in line, tell someone you appreciate them, smile at someone who looks like they are having a bad day, buy a friend coffee. It can be anything! :)  I promise you won't be sorry!

Spring Break... Day ONE.

Spring break official day ONE: 
The natives have already attempted to create some sort of sub-habitat in the living room. They are screeching, which years of observation have shown is how this species communicates boredom and restlessness. The screeching is often a precursor ( or accompaniment to) the massive destruction they will cause to our the interior landscape over the next five days.

I am alone here... defenseless against these short-statured beings. There is no way out. It seems I must study their ways and learn to co-exist in a most-likely futile attempt prevent complete and total destruction.

Nanee and Pap's Egg Hunt

On Saturday, after naps, we all headed over to Nanee and Pap's for the annual cousins egg hunt. We've come a long way since it was just poor, lonely Ben running around finding eggs while a dozen of us followed him around. It's way more exciting now! ;)

Excuse Ben's Jedi robe... for some reason, it was integral to his wardrobe that day...

Good Friday Dinner and Egg Hunt....

We had our annual Good Friday dinner at Grandmom and Poppy's, complete with Aunt Debbie's fabulous egg hunt! Pictures are hard to come by because the big ones moved too fast! But here are a few...

Easter Boys....

Relatively painless (albeit COLD),  almost decent shot of the three boys on Easter morning. 

We had a quiet Easter this year. The whole early Easter thing kind of made it challenging. BUT, we had two fun egg hunts (pictures to come), went to church and went out to dinner with Grandmom and Poppy. 

Incidentally, it was also Tom's and my TWELFTH wedding anniversary. We decided to move that to next weekend because there was nowhere to cram in celebrating during all the Easter stuff. 

The Rest of Our Week...

Well, Simon bounced back quickly from his crazy day. He stayed home from the school the next day to give the antibiotics time to kick in. I let him spend the entire day building Legos in his room and he told me, "Mommy, I really like building Legos all by myself when it's so quiet here!"  I guess I take for granted that he's never really here by himself or even just with Jonathan and me. When he's here, EVERYONE'S usually home and yeah, it can be pretty loud and crazy around here.

Jonathan had a well-visit that day, so the doctor got to get a look at Simon and told me next time he has that reaction to getting sick, to bring him into the office instead of going to the ER because he wants to see it in action.

In Jonathan news, he had his well visit and is 30 pounds and 36 inches tall. I think the nurse may have been generous on the inches because I measured him just the other day only got 34-1/2. He was a little wiggly on the table while she was measuring. LOL.  But going by those stats he's in the 44th percentile for weight and the 29th for height.

The doctor listened to him jabber on about computers and passwords and pushing buttons and declared, "Well, he definitely doesn't have a speech delay anymore and he's certainly not autistic." I agree with the speech delay but just nodded and smiled at the "not autistic" comment. Do I think he's autistic in the way that most people think of when they think of someone who is autistic? No. Do I think he may have some mild spectrum-y tendencies much like his oldest brother that don't necessarily interfere that much with his functioning?  Probably. But at this point it's kind of semantics, neither here nor there, and definitely not worth arguing with the pediatrician.

Anyway, so Thursday, Simon was completely fine and went to school, though a little worn out when he got home.
:)

So yay for a quiet end to the week and beginning of spring break!