Simon's Four Commandments....

Unearthed from Simon's backpack.... I believe (but am not entirely sure) that these are rules for his bedroom:

Here is the translation for those who can not interpret first grade boy handwriting/spelling...
1) Please beat up my brother. (I asked him which one and he just shrugged... I think it applies to both, but possibly more so to Ben, who often kicks Simon out of his room)

2) Do not play on the computer.

3) Do not toot.

4) Do not say bad words.

Thinking Ahead....

'Tis the season for fall/winter activity planning and schedule.  Every mom friend I know is busy with this right now. I used to be pretty immune to it, as my kids didn't have much interest in extracurriculars... but with them being older, that has changed. 

I sent off the check for fall swimming yesterday. Before I put it in the mailbox, I lectured Ben about how he was NOT allowed to freak out and say he wanted to quit on the first day.  First off, it's expensive... like five times as expensive as summer swim team. Ridiculous. Absolutely worth it in the end if he continues to enjoy it like he does now and/or continues to progress at the rate he has. Conversely, recipe for major parental annoyance if he pulls a "Ben." 

So, I told him if he wanted to have a freakout, he needed to save it for in the car AFTER the first practice because I can't deal with that with the two other kids with me, plus he's NINE and he's has done swim team before now so he needs to just deal since he told me this is something he wants to do.  Also? He's NOT quitting. We're only signed up for Sept - December right now (can decide about December - May later) and he can stick it out that long. 

So there's that. 

I've decided it's really crucial we find Simon a "thing" sooner than later too. We are seeing some pretty clear middle child issues surfacing and I think a lot of it could be helped if we find him something he can be really good at. Currently, he is not really "athletic". Ben wasn't either at this age, but he liked sports. Simon doesn't even really like it... he whines the whole time. He also does not have a competitive bone in his body. Maybe he'll eventually find a sport he loves and I'm not ruling that out.... but for now, he needs something else. So I think we're going to start him with piano lessons in the fall. An old friend (who actually also taught my brother piano) is going to come to the house one evening a week and give him lessons.  I actually would have liked to have found someplace for him to take violin instead, because he talks about this a lot, but I can't find anyone who gives lessons at peoples' homes and that element is kind of crucial for this to work.  Just too hard right now with all three. 

December to March brings basketball season and Ben will play again, of course. He's already excited. Simon says he wants to play too -- he would do clinic this year. I have my reservations about him actually liking it (soccer was a total disaster), but we can try it. It might be good for him and would make me feel less guilty about making him sit through Ben's games all season. LOL.

The swim team commitment has me the most anxious. Practices are three times a week but you can go to as few or as many as you want. I'm going to shoot for one weeknight and the Sunday evening one.... but the weeknight worries me.... I tend to lose motivation to leave the house once it's dark and freezing at 5p.m. LOL. BUT, we made summer work and that wasn't easy at first either... so I'm determined. 

Can't believe it's almost fall...  summer flew! Enjoying the last three weeks before school starts now. :) 

Simon's 6-Year Well Visit... or, An Example of How the Graff Family "Descends" Upon Places...

I had the pleasure of taking all  three children to Simon's well-visit yesterday morning.  You may remember how I was offered Xanax by the pediatrician the last time this happened.  It's always a treat. BUT, on the whole, my boys are actually very well behaved and while it's not an ideal situation to have to try to talk and listen to a doctor with three boys crammed into a small room, it's doable.

However, lately, there has been a ridiculous amount of fighting between Simon and Jonathan over absolutely everything, but a biggie is who gets to push elevator and automatic door buttons, of which there are many at our pediatrician's office. Sigh. I dread it. They both whine and screech and squeal and then sometimes Ben forgets he is nine and decides to get in on the "my turn!!" action too. Seriously?

So after two rounds of whining, I finally offered to pay the older two a quarter for every button they willingly let Jonathan push.

Genius.  Genius I tell you.  They each earned $1.25 and we had a peaceful walk up to the office. Ahhhhh....

It all changed when we got to the office, however, and the receptionist held me up at the desk over something stupid. (okay, so I may have forgotten which child's well visit I was there for and confused her...)

While this was going on, Simon and Jonathan started fighting over the train table. Now, I have been cursing that train table since it appeared in the doctor's office waiting room sometime last year. All my kids do is fight over it. Jonathan doesn't want anyone near him or the train he is pushing, so he sounds his baby dinosaur alarm whenever anyone tries to run their train through the track where he is. P;lus he always wants the trains... ALLLL the trains. He also likes to destroy the track and throw pieces of it across the room. AWESOME.

Simon, at six, still wants to play trains and wants CERTAIN trains and he wants to play with them the "right" way and hates when Jonathan messes up the tracks.... and OMG... kill me. I HATE THE TRAIN TABLE. Mind you, we have trains at home and they hardly ever get touched. So what gives?

There were two families with us in the waiting room, both with newborns. And I know they were watching the scene with horror and/or judgement. (that's okay, I did that too once... karma will get you someday, people!) My two youngest kids were yelling at each other, train tracks and bridges were flying.  I kept kneeling down and taking Jonathan by the shoulders while talking calmly about "nice hands" and "sharing with Simon". This was mostly for the benefit of the parents around me though because I knew it wasn't going to do much good. The only way to really fix it/discipline him in this kind of scenario is to remove him from the room or take the toys away neither of which I could do at the present moment.

Alternately, I'd pull Simon aside and tell him to use the trains he had and not to take things from Jonathan. Mostly I was just biding my time until the nurse called us back.

Mercifully, she came out to get Simon for his hearing and vision test. He balked, leapt into a chair, curled up into the fetal position and started making low growling noises that sounded like a very small demon.

WTH?

The nurse stood, waiting. I picked Simon up, put him on his feet and pushed him toward her. He stopped and sat down.

"Okay, hold on for one second." I said to the nurse.

I went and scooped up Jonathan from the train table, grabbed Simon by his right hand and dragged him down the hallway.

GEEZ.

He was fine after that so can someone please explain why that was all necessary?

After that, things returned to normal and Ben and Jonathan played quietly in the waiting room while we waited for Simon to return.

Then Ben announced he had to go to the bathroom.

"It's right over there, " I said, pointing. He looked at me with a a worried expression.

"Dude, you are NINE years old, the bathroom is RIGHT there, I can see it from here... go. And hurry because they are going to bring Simon back any minute now and we'll have to go back to the exam room."

Finally, he went.

That's the precise moment the nurse popped her head out, "Simon?"

Sigh.

"One second. My other one's in the bathroom," I said as I once again scooped up Jonathan and took Simon by the hand.

She didn't smile.

Okay then... I walked over to the bathroom to see what was taking Ben so long. "Ben are you almost finished?"

"Yes."

"They are taking us back to the rooms. Do you remember where those are?"

"NO!!! Don't leave!!!"

Sigh. (this is God paying me back for doing this kind of thing to my mom my entire childhood)

I leaned my head against the door and we waited.... and waited...

It felt like an eternity before he came out. That kid stores a LOT of volume in his bladder. FINALLY we followed the nurse back to the rooms.

Simon got weighed and Ben watched anxiously. He always does.

"51 pounds, 12 ounces." said the nurse.

"Aw MAN!!!!" exclaimed Ben from the corner. You see, he knew this day was coming. The day his younger brother outweighed him. And now it seems he does... by about two pounds. LOL.

He was 45 and 3/4 inches, so Ben still has a couple inches on Simon he can cling to.

She initially put us in the exam room that I swear is a converted janitor's closet. She took Simon's blood pressure and surveyed the scene. "I'm going to move you guys the room across the hall when it's free.... just so you have more room."

"Bless you." was my reply. These boys need space to spread out while we wait or they start climbing the chairs (and me) and the exam table like a family of chimps in a cage that's too small.

We moved and the waiting began. We played some games of "I spy with my little eye", but we've played so many times in that room we're running out of tricky things to choose. "I spy something pink!" "The baby's hat in the photo." "Shoot"  "I spy something green!" "The floor."  "Darn it." Etc....

Simon complained about having to undress to his underwear even though at home, when I tell him to go get dressed, I will go up a half hour later and find him naked playing Legos.

Ben spun circles on the squeaky stool and LITERALLY tried to climb the wall. Simon destroyed the tissue paper liner on the table. Jonathan climbed the exam table and eventually resorted to playing with the stirrups, which is his go-to favorite activity in the pediatrician's exam rooms.

Finally the doctor came in. I know he's always amused when I have the whole brood with me. I wish I could see it from his perspective sometimes because I'm sure it's really very funny.

He talked to Simon for awhile and then started the exam. When he looked it Simon's ears he remarked, "Well, it's a miracle he passed the hearing exam because both ears are REALLY infected."

Awesome. Mom of the year! (I had actually kind of suspected that because he has been super congested lately, but he hadn't had a fever or said anything hurt, so we waited, knowing he was going to the doctor anyway.)

He also has a sinus infection. So our well-visit also became a sick visit.

We managed to get through most of the rest of exam without incident until Jonathan, who had been playing with Ben, started yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Ben! Whatever you are doing to him, PLEASE stop it!!!" I said.

"I'm not doing anything! I was just trying get him to make eye contact with me!!" was his indignant reply.  (he has sat through one too many sessions with our teachers from Infants and Toddlers)

Then from Jonathan we heard, "Noooooooo! STOP EYE CONTACTING ME, BEN!!!!"

I lost it and looked over to see Dr. B doing the same.  He had his head down on his laptop just laughing and laughing. Finally he composed himself and said, "Well, your family certainly is.... well educated!"

LOL.

Sooooo anyway...  other than the ear infection/sinus infection, Simon is a really healthy kiddo. We talked about his mood issues some (Dr. B got to see some of that for himself while we were there). He and I agreed that it's something to watch and maybe we'll end up taking him to the same psychologist Ben saw last year to figure some things out. We also talked about the possible attention issues brought up by the kindergarten teacher. I said I honestly didn't see that in him (and believe me when I say we know ADHD at our house....) but we were keeping an eye on it. He agreed with that and said, "Yeah. I don't want to add anything else to your plate in that respect right now.... let's just keep an eye on it and keep me posted."  God bless that man. It goes without saying that if I were really worried, I wouldn't hesitate to get him evaluated, but I'm not at the moment and really want to see how first grade starts off in the fall before thinking about anything like that. I'm much more concerned about his moodiness/angry outbursts than anything else.

He didn't offer me Xanax this visit, so I must have been more composed than I was previously. ;)
So all in all, a great visit I guess?

As for Simon's percentiles, because I always put them in these posts for my reference later:
76th for weight and 45th for height.  Yeah... he's dense! LOL!

Lego ER...

Recovering patients to the left... patients in surgery in the middle... spare parts on the right. ;)

Telling Tales Outside of School...

We're just going to go ahead and call this a series. LOL.  There is way too much good material coming out of my Thursdays.  Again, Zach and Adam's mom, you asked for it.

So my little Thursday friends came home with us this past week instead of me taking them home. Their mom had a doctor's appointment and asked if that would be okay, to which I said a most enthusiastic YES. Our neighborhood is oddly deserted and anytime we can mix it up with some new kids around here, we welcome it, plus the boys had been asking for a couple weeks if Zach and Adam could come play. Perfect!

The next week was a series of back and forth emails that went something like:
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure."
"Are you REALLY sure?"
"Yep. Really sure."
"I just remembered they will be all sugared up from their Valentine's Day parties... are you SURE you're sure?"

I get it though. When people invite more than one of my boys over at a time, I always wonder if they *really* know what they are getting themselves into.  One at a time, Ben and Simon (Jonathan is excluded here) are really well behaved. Put them together though, throw in a little ADHD, a healthy dose of sugar, and sibling dynamics and the result can be unpredictable, to say the least.

The majority of the boys' friends come in pairs though, so I did, in fact, have some idea what I had signed up for and I had a talk with Ben and Simon beforehand about the ground rules, the biggest of which was "NO big brother vs. little brothers games!" (those never end well)

Moms of all boys really and truly have the best senses of humor, as is evidenced by the fact that Ben came home on Wednesday with a ziplock bag survival kit from the teacher. Inside, was a valentine's cookie, a Red Bull and a pack of Tylenol with a note that said "Good luck".   LOL!

Fast forward to Thursday...

I grabbed Ben and Simon from parent pickup, walked down to the classroom to find the other two. No kids in sight there, but a teacher pointed me to the computer lab where I successfully located child #1. He piled on his coat and backpack and then gestured toward a gigantic, three-tier Valentine's box on the table. "That's mine too."

*cough* Turns out, someone's mom is bit of a valentine's box overachiever. (can't complain though, seeing as how she made Ben's too since I knew nothing about these boxes until two days before... )  But, I digress...

I surveyed my situation  -- Jonathan face-planted in the hallway, angry about not being allowed in the computer lab,  Ben's valentine box in one hand, and this giant box before me -- and pondered my options. "Um... do you think you can carry it, buddy?"

"I can't. It's too big!"

Luckily, my sherpa skills are finally honed, so I managed to snag it with my free arm, along with Ben's box and then through what I can only chalk up to divine intervention, convinced Jonathan to put himself back together and follow me.

"Where's Adam?"

"Dunno."

 Have I ever mentioned that eight-year-old boys, in general, are like, ZERO help most of the time?

I ran into Ben's teacher who had been watching the scene from a distance, as the teachers on Thursdays tend to do, as it is obviously THE best comedy show EVER.

"I think Adam's down the other hallway and, by the way, here are a couple bags for Michelle!"

I thanked her and hung the bags from my one free pinky finger.

Anyway, so down the hall we went... Ben, Simon, Zach, Jonathan, me, the valentine's boxes and several gift bags. The entire way, Simon kept badgering me for FunDip, which, from the looks of the green ring around his mouth, he had gotten his first taste of that day.

We found Adam with his teacher, who quickly became my hero because she convinced Zach he could, in fact, carry his valentine's box after all.

While we were walking out of school, Simon, for some God only knows reason, decided to tell us all the story of the time he zipped up his boy bits in his footie jammies. Good times. Zach turned around and said, "WHY is he talking about zipping up his wee?" Before I could answer, Adam piped up with his own similar story. As I walked on ahead, the conversation behind me mercifully turned to 3D DS games.

This. Is. My. Life.

It's craziness, complete and utter insanity, truly... but these are the times I realize I am so happy and comfortable in this place... as the mom of little boys. They are the best. Yes, they are crazy and loud sometimes and they think the word "poop" is the funniest thing ever... but I love it.... talk to me again when I have a 13-year-old and I may be in a different state-of-mind..

The boys made plans all the way back to the house and we had no sooner pulled into the driveway, then they disappeared in a flash, leaving only a pile of abandoned backpacks in their wake.

To be continued... ;)

Beachy...

We made it!

Ahhh....

The older boys ventured down to the beach for a little while with grandmom late yesterday afternoon and Tom and I went down when Jonathan awoke from his much-needed nap.

We didn't think we'd be down there long so no one put on bathing suits. I guess you can predict the ending of THAT story. Everyone returned soaked and sandy... but oh so happy. :)

Spring Break...

Nothing spectacular going on for spring break over here. The boys are mostly just enjoying not having anywhere to be.

Yesterday we went to a cool secondhand bookstore with Aunt Sarah and Audim and the two older boys picked out way too many books. The big boys were about to play checkers with Aunt Sarah at the store when Jonathan decided that enough was enough, so we had to go. :(

After that though, things improved and we had a picnic in the yard, followed by Lego playing while Jonathan took a nap. We watched a particularly tenacious (and very large) bee stake out some territory on our deck for awhile... then we headed to the playground at the preschool, where Simon played Ninja, Ben dug for rocks and Jonathan played in the sandbox. Eventually Simon got in on the rock digging too though. I think we need to go find somewhere to dig today because this would have kept them busy for HOURS if we hadn't had to go home for dinner...

Funny story from today: At the bookstore, Simon picked out this random book about Martin Luther King. It was one of those paperback leveled easy reader ones... the ones that come in every topic under the sun, including Star Wars, which we have a ton of. Anyway, so he got it home and was paging through it, when he looked up with a furrowed brow. "There is NOTHING about Star Wars in here!!!" he exclaimed!!! I replied, "No buddy... that's a book about Martin Luther King. I'm not sure why you thought it was Star Wars?" Ben chimed in, "Ohhhhh.... you thought that was a picture of Lando Calrissian, didn't you?" (Star Wars character, for those who don't know) "Yes!" yelled Simon. Oops. LOL!

Anyway, some pictures from the playground....

Out of Control...

Holy CRAP.

Excuse the phrasing, but truly... that's the only way I can describe what went down at my house yesterday afternoon.

As the mother of boys, I have come to accept a certain level of chaos and volume that I never thought I'd be able to tolerate. I don't bat an eye when they brandish light sabers and swords at each other or run in circles through the house whooping and yelling like natives. It's their nature, just as much as standing up while peeing is. (though I do make it known that in houses where this is NOT the norm a.k.a. non 100% boy houses... that they need to reign it in or go outside.)

At any rate, the boys and I were enjoying a kind of boring and unusually quiet afternoon yesterday just playing in Simon's room when the doorbell rang. I looked out the window and it was one of our neighbors who we just met. He's a year older than Ben and was going to the same camp last week. His three cousins, two boys and a girl, all about the same age sandwiched between Simon and Ben were with him. We had met them all the previous night and Ben was excited so I told him to get his shoes and and they could all go outside.

Upon opening the front door, the entire gaggle of children poured into the house. "Can we see Ben's room?" asked the neighbor. This was fine with me and I knew Ben wanted to show off his room, so they all took their shoes off and bounded upstairs. Behind them was the neighbor's aunt (mom of the three cousins). "Is this okay?" she asked? "Of course!" I replied, honestly grateful for the kids' arrival and an easy way to kill the last hour or so until Tom got home. "Come on in?"

What I did NOT expect was a) for her to hang around and b) the chaos that would ensue.

Don't get me wrong, it was fine that she stayed... it's just that I had never met her before so I had the whole awkward small talk thing going on WHILE trying to take care of Jonathan, who did not want to be held or contained, as usual. So she had to follow me all over the house while I chased him and rescued him from certain death. She was very nice, really... but it's just a strange way to interact with someone the very first time you meet them!

Then there were the older kids. They did what EVERY group of kids who have ever come into our new house do... they ran in circles, switching from floor to floor. This is what I get for having an open floor plan. Walls? They are like speed bumps. They slow kids down... keep this in mind if you are building or buying a home anytime soon. LOL. I need more walls.

As I said before, I'm used to the running. I'm used to the noise. What i'm not used to is my kids totally taking advantage of my stranded with the baby and the stranger situation. Simon apparently cornered the whole lot of them (all older than him, mind you) in Ben's room and beat them with plastic golf clubs because they kept trying to use them and he didn't want to share. Then all the older kids (including Ben) decided to gang up on Simon (can't blame them) and chase him all over the upstairs INCLUDING INTO MY ROOM. When I went upstairs at one point, they were all jumping on our bed and running circles in our bedroom. WTH? My kids KNOW that isn't EVER allowed in any way, shape or form!!!

They then proceeded to trash BOTH the boys' bedrooms. (again, mostly my kids' doing, I'm pretty sure)

Then they made their way down to the basement where they trashed the playroom, which I'm cool with because THAT'S the room they SHOULD have been trashing. And then a light saber battle ensued and the neighbor boy hit his cousin with a sword and made him cry.

Finally, mercifully, after about an hour and fifteen minutes of this, the aunt said they needed to get going. This was when Simon (who, in his defense was VERY tired because we had spent the early afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese) completely lost it and went psycho exorcist on me, kicking, screaming, screeching and throwing everything in sight. I had to shove him into his bedroom and hold the door shut while we said goodbye, all the while, Simon throwing himself up against the bedroom door like a caged animal.

Can't even imagine what the other mom thought, but I'd LIKE to think that since she has three kids of her own, two of whom are boys, that it didn't faze her. I'm sure I'll never know. Well, unless the neighbor boy is never allowed to come down and play again...

After they left, things went from bad to worse. I actually LOCKED Simon in his room for a moment while I hunted down Ben and told him how disappointed I was in his behavior and laid down the rules for the next time he has friends over.

Then I turned my attention back to Simon, who was still throwing himself up against the door and screaming things like "Stinky door!!! Stinky stinky door!!!!!" I couldn't calm him down because he was too far gone so I did the only thing I could think to do that would keep him from hurting himself or me and that was to put him in the shower and turn the cold water on him.

It was like a miracle. Completely ended the tantrum and seemed to bring the human back... I toweled him off and put him in jammies and we talked about the tantrum and why I had been upset while he snuggled with his puppies for awhile.

Jonathan? Well, through all this, he just kept trying to hurt himself, so that was an added element of fun.

By the time Tom arrived home, everyone was calm and somewhat sheepish. I tossed him Jonathan, announced that none of them had eaten dinner yet and I didn't know what there was to eat anyway, and then disappeared to take a hot bath.

Seriously. It was like an episode of SuperNanny. WHEN did my house become in need of SuperNanny?!?! I love summer and all, but I really kind of think in a month and a half when school starts, it will be just what everyone around here needs.

SHEESH.

Another One to File Under "Life with Boys"

When one of my children yells, "My pee pee isn't working!!" from the bathroom, it means there will be a LOT of cleanup for me later. Hate when they lose directional control... gah. For the record, I have learned that this isn't something they really grow out of. Ever.