It Doesn't Get Any Better...

I checked on Ben about 15 times tonight after we put him to bed. Contrary to popular belief, this was not to check and see if he was breathing. He was sound aleep in his fuzzy airplane jammies under the soft glow of the nightlight and I just couldn't get over what a perfect little gift he is and how much love I feel for him.

It's amazing and overwhelming at times...

I'm working on my pregnancy blog scrapbook right now so I've been looking back at all my old posts and putting them together with pictures of me pregnant, ultrasound pictures, etc... Looking back on the whole process, it really is such a miracle... that the Benjamin who I'm getting to know, who falls asleep on my chest and smiles when I call him "my little peanut", was the same little person when he was growing inside of me all those months. Wow!

I've been reading another pregnancy blog a lot lately. It's really cool to experience the whole process again as someone else writes about it. Anyway, there was a post in it today that I thought was beautifully expressed and sort of goes along with my thoughts today... in case you don't click on my links to other blogs, I'll copy and paste it here for you. (It's from the link called "From a Lima Bean")
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May 27, 2004
Smell the Color Nine
Chris Rice has a new song out called, "Smell the color nine." I was working on my baby mix (the CD I'm making for our unborn little girl) and I heard the lyrics, "But sometimes finding you is just like trying to smell the color nine." That's how I feel sometimes when I'm trying to feel her moving around. All six and a half inches of her swimming around can barely make a noticeable hit on my insides.

"Now I've never 'felt the presence' But I know you're always near..." I know this song isn't about unborn children, but it could be. They're a miracle on their own. And a divine presence in the midst of amniotic fluid and muscles and tissue and blood vessels.

I have faith that the ultrasound pictures really are showing me what's growing in there. Because I can't see it. And sometimes I can't feel it. But I know she's there. She hears me. She's with me.

Faith is always the same...
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