Now You Are Four....

Dear Jonathan,

Today you are four!

Between the sleepless nights of 0-1, the "how many ways can I hurt myself?" phase of 1-2, the knock down, drag out tantrums of 2-3, and the "I will only drink from blue cups with lids and eat only pasta!" pickiness of 3-4,  sometimes it truly felt like this day would never come.

It's not that all those other ages didn't have their positives....because they did....and there are things I will miss about each of them, especially since you are our last baby. It's just that, it seemed like four was when your brothers,  particularly your oldest one, who was our toughest model until you came along, became much more rational human beings, capable of being reasoned with.

Oddly, last night at your birthday party, you sort of morphed into this weirdly polite little person who was nice to your cousins, said thank you for presents, and said hello and goodbye to everyone without whining, scowling or burying your head in the floor for no apparent reason. So I'm starting to think there is something to this magical age.

At any rate.... so.... FOUR.

In many ways, you are such an OLD four. Four going on seven... or ten. I hang my head in shame when you talk endlessly to other preschoolers about Minecraft and Clash of Clans. Most of them, especially the firstborns, look at you like you have a dozen heads and go back to building Lego towers or talking superheroes.  At the pool this summer, you hung out with Ben and Simon's friends when they would all go off to play Minecraft on their iPads. You fit right in and they never complained that you tagged along. They just adopted you as one of the big kids. One of your best friends at the pool is a little boy named Carter, who is Simon's age. Every day Carter would show up and say to me, "Where's Jonathan?" I'd point him in your direction and he'd run over and high five you and spend hours trying to teach you to swim or playing Minecraft with you under the awning. You would tell me "Carter's here! Carter loves me! He loves me because I'm CUTE."

In other ways, you are the youngest-seeming four I have ever had. First off, this August birthday makes you the youngest in your class. But there are other things too....you are dragging out this potty training thing as long as possible, for instance.  You aren't usually able to just "go play" with other kids your age, which makes playdates tough... you are also still unhappy about school and I'm interested/worried to see how this year's start goes. (I hope better than last year. It HAS to be better than last year.....)
I keep reminding myself you are almost half a year younger than Ben was when he started school every year. And, in many cases, you are even more significantly younger than some of your classmates. You have some natural social weaknesses anyway, so this age gap, as far as school is concerned, feels enormous at times.

You are my snuggle bug. During quiet afternoons when your brothers aren't around (and even sometimes when they are), you will announce that you need some quiet time "on the couch with binky and ducky". You'll curl up next to me and, if I'm really lucky, ask to read some books and we'll pick a whole pile to go through together all in one sitting. You LOVE your books... all kinds... but especially the Pigeon series, the How Do Dinosaurs series, and this blatant ripoff of the Hungry Caterpillar one that we have called Hungry Bunny.  You can read anything and everything, but you still prefer to be read to, which I love.

Somehow, you are simultaneously our most affectionate child and our meanest. You can go from hugs and kisses and "I love yous" to biting and hitting and kicking in the blink of an eye. There is NO in between with you. I do hope, now that you are this magical age, we start seeing more of nice Jonathan and less of vicious untrained puppy Jonathan.

You are still our fearless one. Our recent trip to Dutch Wonderland confirmed that. You are solidly in the "the higher and faster, the better!" camp. I am both terrified and excited to see what you will do in life without fear to hold you back.  If I had to pick one of my three children who was most likely to jump from an airplane or hang-glide off a cliff? There is zero question. It's you.

No doubt about it. You are challenging in many ways, my little friend. You keep us on our toes and things are rarely easy as far as you are concerned. You are certainly our ball of fire.... but with that, you bring so much light, life and energy to our family. You drive us all completely crazy sometimes, but I know I speak for daddy and big brothers too when I say we love you to pieces and wouldn't change you for anything.

Happy 4th Birthday, J, Jonathan, Jellybean...

Love,
Mommy